Keeping It Hot As The Temperatures Cool

The fall season not only brings a host of new and exciting fashion trends, but marks the end of sweltering summer nights under the stars. However, the cooler temperatures don’t necessarily mean the end of hot summer romance. Tap into your autumn creativity to keep things sizzling even as the mercury begins to drop.

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For those whose spring and summer flings have blossomed into longer term romances, maintaining the spark is of paramount importance to keep that loving feeling alive. Keep things spicy by taking action to break old routines and foster spontaneity. If you’re used to getting frisky in the evening before bed, make a conscious effort to seek out your play partner during the day for some afternoon delight. Not only is it more fun with the lights on, but you won’t risk falling asleep before you get a chance to get down to it.

Don’t let your busy work schedule or nine-to-five get in the way of your relationship – keep breath mints by your...

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How To Reignite The Sexual Spark: Part III

Change the Way You Look!

If you tuned into parts I and II of this special series, you’ve likely already taken the opportunity to secretly schedule sex as well as take a trip down memory lane. Hopefully the flames of sexual passion are burning a bit brighter and you’ve been able to connect with your lover in new and exciting ways.

This week’s challenge to reignite the sexual spark involves changing the way you look. But this isn’t about your hair, wardrobe or grooming habits. I’m suggesting that you change the way you look...at your partner.

In the early stages of a relationship, limerence takes over as our infatuation is fueled by curiosity, anxiety and the desire to uncover the unknown. You lust after your new love interest as you fill in the gaps to idealize your potential mate. But with time, this limerence stage evolves and our lives take over. We stop looking at our partners as lovers and begin to regard them more as people. And though it is...

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How To Reignite The Sexual Spark: Part II

Part 1 here...

Part II

In the first part of this series, I suggested that you schedule sex in order to reignite that sexual spark... sort of. The exercise actually involved finding a balance between spontaneity and planning and you can revisit this challenge here.

Your second task, Why Do I Love You Again?, involves a trip down memory lane. It’s a simple way to revisit and reignite the attraction and excitement you experienced when you first met.

Set aside 40 minutes along with your lover and ensure that you eliminate all potential distractions. I know it’s tough, but this is a partnered exercise and isn’t intended for the wide world of social media, so shut down your devices and take some time to slow down. I didn’t believe it myself until I tried it, but somehow the Twitter-verse manages to survive without us while we take time to recharge.

You can complete this exercise one of two ways: take turns answering the following questions face-to-face or if you...

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How To Reignite The Sexual Spark: Part 1

Part I

If you find that the sexual spark has faded with time, you’re not alone. Every relationship will experience its share of ups and downs and this is a good thing. You can’t always be on a sexual high, as even a plateau can become monotonous without change.

For the next 3 weeks, I’ll be outlining one suggested change you can make to kick-start your sex life and reignite the spark in your relationship.

Your first task: Schedule sex secretly.

You’ve probably heard that scheduling sex is essential for busy couples, but my clients complain that pencilling in time for sex detracts from the thrill of spontaneity. In response to their feedback (and eye rolling), I now ask each partner to secretly schedule sex at a time that will most likely accommodate both of their schedules.

This means that rather than designating Wednesday night as date night, each person plans to initiate sex once per week. They decide in advance when and how they’re going to do so and...

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Who Cares How Many Sexual Partners You've Had?!

We are a culture consumed by numbers. We just love to measure, count and quantify everything: money, cars, homes, dates, waistlines, trophies, Facebook friends, minutes, miles per gallon, calories. So it should come as no surprise that lovers are no exception.

While counting partners may seem like no big deal, the associated pressure and judgment (from both ourselves and others) is often an unnecessary problem.

Last year, a British website released the Sex Degrees of Separation Calculator designed to compute the number of indirect sexual partners based on a user’s age, gender and sexual history. The online calculator estimated that the average Brit had “indirect sex” with just under 3 million people! While the tool’s intention was to encourage safer sex, the public outcry in response to the results indicated that we are both obsessed and highly uncomfortable with the idea of having many sexual partners.

So what should you do when a new love interest asks you...

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Lies We're Told About The Female Orgasm

Instead of comparing ourselves to porn stars (actors) and fictional characters, a little re-education is all we need to feel more empowered and have better sex. Read on as we dispel some of the top myths about the female orgasm.

The female orgasm is a wondrous thing, but when it comes to understanding the phenomenon, misinformation abounds. From the exaggerated displays in mainstream porn to the sure-fire simultaneous and almost non-stop orgasms of Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s no surprise that confusion and feelings of inadequacy have become the norm.

Instead of comparing ourselves to porn stars (actors) and fictional characters, a little re-education is all we need to feel more empowered and have better sex. Read on as we dispel some of the top myths about the female orgasm.

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Myth: The louder the screams, the bigger the orgasm.

Thanks to the fact that most of us learn what sex looks and sounds like through porn, we are misled into believing that earth-shattering...

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Boobies! Fact and Fiction

Breasts! Also referred to as ta tas, love pillows, boobies, titties and melons, breasts are often at the forefront of sex play and are a lovely, beautiful part of the female body.

We hear a lot about breast health and the importance of checking them regularly as part of the breast cancer screening process and this message is of paramount importance, so please do be sure to check your breasts.

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There is, however, a lot more to our mammary glands than health and cancer prevention alone. Here are a few fun breast facts:

  • Size doesn’t matter when it comes to sexual pleasure. Breasts come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, colours and even textures and while women’s breasts seem to be getting bigger (likely due to body weight increases), breast size does not impact a woman’s experience of physical pleasure. One factor that does seem to influence sensitivity and pleasure is the menstrual cycle and fluctuating hormone levels with many women reporting greater...
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Want A More Satisfying Sex Life? Try This!

The Partner Interview

I love my job! As a sexologist, I work with thousands of clients each year to support them in building happy, healthy relationships and sex lives.

One of the best parts of my work involves facilitating workshops for couples. From the chilly Great White North to the sunny shores of the Caribbean, I teach classes on everything from sexual communication and trust to kink and sexual technique. Since the most rewarding part of running workshops is the feedback I receive from clients, I thought I’d share an exercise that always receives rave reviews: The Partner Interview.

This exercise involves a very simple set of questions that you take turn answering with your lover. Here are just a few reasons why my clients and I love it:

1.You can repeat it every few months and learn something new every time.

2.It opens up new conversations.

3.You can add your own questions to suit your personal needs.

4.Even if you don’t use all the information right away,...

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Why Women Pick 'Fifty Shades of Grey' Over Playgirl

From Saturday Night Live to feminist organizations, everyone has taken a turn poking fun at Fifty Shades of Grey. But literary and cultural criticisms aside, E.L. James’ so-called mommy-porn has taken the book world by storm. And with talks of Harry Potter star Emma Watson being cast as protagonist Anastasia Steele in the upcoming movie version of the book, the Fifty Shades phenomenon seems to have some serious staying power.

But what makes James’ work so appealing? And why do women opt for the written word while men choose visual stimuli like Playboy?

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Saucy stories leave lots to the imagination!

You’ve probably heard that men are more visual than women when it comes to sex, but this isn’t necessarily the case. Women are visual creatures too, but sometimes we like to envision our own version of events and people.

Carlyle Jansen, founder of Good For Her, explains that women don’t always want the entire picture when it comes to sexual...

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The Hottest Sexting Tips

Sexting is hot! From naughty words to saucy pics, smart phones can pack as much erotic power as our traditional battery-operated devices. And though this techno-sex behaviour is low risk in some respects (STIs, unintended pregnancy), it carries a unique set of risks with regard to personal disclosure.

Here are a few tips for hotter, safer sexting:

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Don’t show your face.

You’re gorgeous. But you don’t want that beautiful face attached to your super sexy body to be plastered on every social networking site around. Photos and videos can go viral and reach millions in a matter of minutes, so shoot from the neck-down.

Take close-ups.

This is a great way to keep your partner-in-sexting guessing as well as help disguise your identity. I have clients who go has far as adding fake tattoos to anonymize their photos, as you can never be too cautious.

Ask First

Sending unsolicited sexts is tantamount to harassment, so ask your flirty friend if they...

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