About The Author
Alyssa Royse is the co-host of Sexxx Talk Radio on the progressive Radio Network and is doing her best to create a sex-positive world for her 3 daughters.
“Why do women remove their pubic hair?” An older woman asks me on my spa day.
This is such a loaded question these days. And admittedly, as a woman in my 40′s, I am older than most of the people who seemed to have embraced the Brazilian. In recent months, prominent sex-scholars have gone so far as to say that removing all of your pubic hair promotes pedophilia, infantilizes women and that the men who prefer it do so because they either like little girls or want women to be powerless. Such talk – and it is rampant – infuriates me. Besides being completely wrong, it assumes that women are somehow powerless to make these choices for themselves.
I don’t know what to say to her. So I just tell her the simple truth. “I do it because I want to.”
I made my students repeat aloud “Sex is a skill,” as I was beginning the sexuality module in my college courses last week, their collective voices paired with open and uncomfortable grins.
I am always amazed at how many people do not realize that yes, SEX REQUIRES SKILL! It does not come naturally. Nothing does, except maybe breathing. When we come into this world, we don’t know how to do anything—not even eat. That’s why there are so many breast-feeding consultants. Babies need to learn how to take their mothers’ breast into their mouths and suckle, and new moms need to learn how to teach them!
When we are born, we don’t know how to drive a car, play Frisbee or soccer, cook a turkey, or dress ourselves with style. All of these things must be learned. And so must sex.
Yet we have all these romantic notions that somehow sex is just natural, it “just happens” and, it’s perfect with “the one” you love,...
Having a close ally at work can create a more productive work environment, increase job satisfaction and motivate you to spend more time at the office. This may explain why 65 per cent of professionals admit to having a work spouse, a non-competitive business companion with whom you share everything work related...and sometimes more.
The concept of a work spouse goes beyond having a friendly co-worker with similar interests. Chemistry is what separates your your work friends from the special connection you share with your work spouse. You click in a unique way with this person and feel comfortable expressing a range of emotions including some degree of vulnerability. You’re attracted to them on several levels and though the appeal may not be sexual from the onset, many admit that it often develops into physical desire. Work spouses also give you an ego boost, a dose of excitement and a sense of being appreciated for who you are as opposed to what you do.
I'm sure most women find it frustrating that female masturbation does not share the same level of open discussion as male masturbation. Luckily, there are some who are fighting for the cause!
Tokyo, Japan has opened bar Love Joule, which acts as a safe space for women to gather, have a few drinks and openly discuss masturbation with one another. Behind the bar is not a vast display liquor, but a colourful array of vibrators.
Love Joule attempts to blast the stigma of female masturbation, which unfortunately remains a taboo subject. This bar is a female-only space, allowing men to enter only when accompanied by a woman. Patrons of the bar appreciate the safe environment created to allow women to get together and discuss sex and masturbation, without prying eyes and ears.
The bar is a huge hit, with an already expanding clientele. Love Joule is a step in the right direction toward diminishing the unnecessary stigma that surrounds the topic of female...
Sex is a vital component of a healthy relationship. Aside from the (hopefully) mutual enjoyment it provides, sex also releases a flood of powerful neurochemicals that cause you to feel closer to your partner. Great sex can relieve stress, break tension, and facilitate recovery after a big fight.
It’s easy to have frequent, passionate sex early on, but what about when sex dries up a bit as the relationship becomes long term?
Running errands, catching up on work, and other activities that are part of the daily grind can interfere with time normally reserved for romance. This often leaves women feeling neglected and men feeling sexually frustrated, although these feelings are by no means gender exclusive.
I frequently receive emails from guys who can’t explain the sexual slump they’re in. Women reach out and tell me they don’t quite know why, but they don’t feel the same passion, the same spark they used to feel.
It boils down to a case of...
Continued from Part 1 here...
All of us would have inadvertently said something to hurt someone. Hence, when you try to get sexual feedback from your partner, their own fears of hurting you will come into play. They are not just worried of potentially hurting you, but also have a disbelief that you are genuinely willing and open to hear from them. It will take a while before your partner will begin to talk more openly about their sexual experiences.
If you have limited success with open-ended questions, don’t give up. This is where you move onto closed-ended questions such as:
“Did you notice when I did…..?” (Yes or No)
“Did you like it when I did it?” (If your partner does not remember, you could imitate what you did previously.)
“Was your orgasm the same, less or more intense than the last time?” (There is only one answer.)
This is where you can encourage further dialogue by reverting to a few open-ended...
In previous pieces, I have covered how sex is not a one-way experience (in ‘Don’t Lie Back and Think of England’), as well as how sex can be like an elephant in the bedroom when it comes to communicating any problems that might be occurring. This week, I would like to suggest ways in which we can get feedback from our partner after a sexual experience. And when I say sexual experience, I am not limiting it to just penetrative sex.
You can begin asking your partner what the sexual experience was like:
“Sweetheart, how was it for you?” or “How was it just now?”
If feedback is restricted to one-word answers or not forthcoming, you can elaborate by saying: “Ok… You know, I would really like to hear what you like about it and what would make it better. Could you share more with me?”
An open-ended question allows for your partner to communicate as little or as much as desired.
Breaking the questions down...
Lady Gaga has been an influential artist since arriving on the music scene, however her influence stretches far beyond her musical ability.
Gaga is a strong activist for equality: she exercised her celebrity status to help eliminate Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and has remained a symbol for sexual equality. She is now moving towards a new battle: body image.
The singer has faced excessive media scrutiny over the past few weeks due to her apparent weight gain. The usually svelte artist appeared heavier during a performance, and the photos have flooded the internet along with criticisms about her body. Gaga is fighting back with the launch of her Body Revolution 2013 campaign which encourages everyone to celebrate their "flaws" by submitting real photos and stories to the Body Revolution section of her website. Gaga has even posted revealing photos of herself with the alarming caption, "bulimia and anorexia since I was 15".
Lady Gaga is on a mission to promote...
I was quite sure that the debate over the existence of the G-spot had been won (probably from a more hands on experience, though). I’m not sure about you, but I have been finding my G-spot (and enjoying it) for many years now. I was surprised to see the title of an article, “ Scientist finds G-spot. Then cuts it out and dissects it for the world to see.” My first thought was, well duh it exists and my second one was, “ I can’t wait to see that youtube video” (and my third was, what the hell did they do with the thing afterwards?).
The first person to declare the G-spot’s existence was of course Ernest Grafenberg, the man who it is named after. I only hope there is a sexual part of the body named after me one day – the N spot?
But it only took till the year 2012 for someone named Dr Adam Ostrzenski, from the Institute of Gynaecology in St Petersburg Florida, to give us physical evidence. Apart from women having G-spot orgasms...
When it comes to penises, it always seems to be about size. I’d wager that if you asked most men about their penises, they’d say that they wished it was larger. Where are they getting these messages that larger is better? Let’s discuss the facts and dispel the myths, so we may delight in the dick without feeling bad.
The average penis is about three to four inches long when flaccid and five to six inches long when erect. Keep in mind that this is the AVERAGE.
Average – The result obtained by adding several quantities together and then dividing this total by the number of quantities; the mean
There are men that fall into the realm both above and below these marks. Still not convinced? Is your mind drifting back to that porn you saw? Men in porn are usually cast due to their endowment and aren’t a realistic comparison when looking at the everyday man.
Still worried about what the ladies will think? Most women are not concerned with your length, but...