Words on Sex and Cancer from Dr. Paul

Today, we take an excerpt on Sex and Cancer from Paul Joannides' Guide To Getting It On.

From a Young Couple We recently received an email from a young woman whose boyfriend has brain cancer. He’s 20, and she’s not yet. He’s had multiple brain surgeries, radiation, and now chemo. Because of his nausea and problems with stamina, she’s on top during intercourse more than before. And some of the things he used to love her to do before his cancer can make him feel nauseated now. But she says as long as they give each other lots of feedback, they still enjoy sex, which shows that you can cut into a person’s brain, nuke it and poison it—it won’t necessarily stop them from wanting sex. In this case, his orgasms help him to feel better after chemo, assuming he’s able. She says, “Sometimes we have sex just to feel closer in a hard time like after we heard he was going to need a second surgery. It’s comforting to be that close to...

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In the Words of Marcus

"I was visiting a friend last night (male). While I was there, another visitor arrived (also male). Within a few minutes of being there, the visitor made a joke where the punch-line was beating up a woman. I told him that I didn't find that joke funny. His response was I needed to relax - it was a joke. I let him know I didn't find jokes like that funny. He became upset that I challenged him on his joke and became irate that I wouldn't just let it go. I asked him, if I was in a room and someone made a joke about beating up asians because they are asians (the visitor was asian) what would he want me to do in those cases? He became more incensed, screamed at me, asked if I was a woman (he used a more unflattering word), and asked if I had a vagina (also using a more lewd word, which I won't write here). When I refused to back down from my position, he suggested that I had a mental deficiency and needed to get help because, as he put it, "why would you be offended?...There's something...

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How to Manage Jealousy -- Advice from a Swinger

Whether you are a swinger, monogamist, polyamorist, or you are simply living sexy, chances are you will have to deal with jealousy in your relationship. Dr Jess and Michael of Playboy TV and Playboy Radio's SWING sit down to discuss how to best manage this inevitable jealousy.

Here are some expert tips:

1. If someone admires your significant other, that's a compliment to you. Jealousy and insecurity are very normal feelings but they aren't necessarily positive. It is best to think of someone else's admiration for your partner as a compliment. This reinforces a much more positive perspective than feeling jealous or insecure about it.

2. Different is good. If your polyamorous partner chooses to enjoy an experience with another woman or man, it does not mean it is necessarily better than your relationship, but rather that it is different. As a couple, it is best not to think of yourselves as two individuals, but rather as single unit. A good variety of sexual experiences is healthy for...

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Sex Box - An alternative to porn?

As part of their Campaign for Real Sex, a series of shows which seek to "reclaim sex from porn," Britain's Channel 4 has launched a new show called Sex Box. The basic premise of the show is that couples have sex in a room-sized box with no windows as a studio audience waits for them to emerge and talk to a panel of experts about their experience. It's not exactly voyeurism. It's not exactly porn. The question is: is it a suitable alternative?

As an alternative to porn, do you think this show stands up? The intent of porn is to stimulate erotic emotions through the use of sexual imagery. Sex Box steers clear of this by replacing explicit sexual imagery with a supposedly edgy public forum on sex. It clearly takes the meat out of the burger, but does it provide a tasty alternative? Is simply hearing couples talk about their sexual experiences in a public forum sufficient enough to make you steer clear of porn? Tell us what you think below.


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LABT: The Latest Dating Trend

Dr. Jess was recently interviewed by Scott Thompson of CHML Radio about the latest dating trend, LABT: Living Apart But Together. According to research, the number of couples opting to live apart while remaining committed is on the rise and they say they're having their cake and eating it too. But what do you think? We'd love to hear from you!


Here is what a few of our Facebook friends had to say: Charmaine (age 42) can't imagine living apart from her husband. "I have been with my partner for close to 19 years, all but 6 months living in the same home. We are raising 2 children under the age of 6, 1 with special needs. My favourite part of the day is when we fall to bed, after everything has been done and the kids are gone to bed, holding hands and planning our next big adventure. I can see why some couples work better apart, for me, I need him there everyday to help keep me going." Jenny (age 33) appreciates nights away. "We got married 6 months ago and we lived...

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Red Hot Kissing Techniques

Whether you’re a soft-lipped or firmed-lip kisser, smooching is key to seduction, romantic attachment and sexual arousal. Unfortunately in long term relationships, we often refrain from kissing and push it aside in favor of other forms of foreplay. This is a shame, as research suggests that kissing is not only good for your health, but also for your relationship. In one study, couples who were instructed to kiss more often reported fewer fights, greater relationship satisfaction, less stress and lower cholesterol. In addition to lowering levels of cortisol (a stress hormone), kissing has also primes the parasympathetic nervous system, which is essential to sexual response. But like most good things, the art of kissing doesn’t always come naturally. So check out following suggestions and techniques to learn a few new tricks designed with your health and love life in mind:


Lip Lining

Give your honey a peek into your sexual skills as you expertly trace your...

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How To Feel Sexier!


Many of us have been trained to believe that our bodies and/or looks are “not good enough.” However, there is a remedy! If you have ever waged war on your body, beauty, age and/or wrestled with low self esteem, here are my top 5 tips that have helped thousands of my clients experience expanded levels of esteem and confidence so they can live their sexiest, most turned on lives! Are you ready to feel beautiful, confident and sexy today? If so, read on!


Believe that you are not broken: In our culture, we have been subtly taught that we are broken – which is why we need creams and diet pills, botox and breast augmentation. However, the truth is that YOU are not broken. Instead, it’s our society’s outdated and damaging views that are broken.

Know that you are (YOU)nique: No one else on the planet is exactly like you (even if you are a twin!) so trying to look exactly like someone else or trying to fit into an illusive, intangible mold of...

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A Technique She'll Love!

The following is an excerpt from Dr. Jess O’Reilly’s best-seller, Hot Sex Tips, Tricks and Licks, published by Quiver Books. Are you dying to get inside of her and feel her warm folds surround your fingers? Of course you are! Try the Cross My Fingers technique to change things up and explore new ways to satisfy her with your bare hands.


Positioning: Ask her to get down on her hands and knees in the Doggie position so that you get a great view from behind.


  • Begin by rubbing her bum and telling her how perfectly round, juicy and tasty it looks from behind. Mmm!
  • Cross your index and middle fingers of your dominant hand and apply some lube.
  • Insert your crossed fingers into her vagina with your palm facing down.
  • Once you’ve inserted all the way up to your second or third finger, rotate your hand clockwise until your palm is facing up and then pull out.
  • Start slowly and increase the speed as she gets worked up and keep telling her how much you love...
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Can Men Be Sexually Assaulted?


According to The Toronto Star, police are looking for four women in their 30s who allegedly sexually assaulted a 19 year-old man downtown yesterday morning. When I came across this article this morning, I feared that reposting it without commentary would garner a host of sarcastic and sexist responses veiled in supposed-humour, so I thought I'd offer a few thoughts:

  • The fact is that sexual assault is about power. Though this type of assault is more commonly perpetrated by men, it is important that all victims feel safe and supported coming forward to report an assault.
  • Every one of us has a right to maintain personal boundaries with regard to our bodies regardless of gender.
  • For those commenters who feel it is appropriate to comment on the alleged perpetrators' weight, quit your fat-shaming. The negative impact of assault is not mitigated by weight, age or beauty.
  • I hope that my readers, friends and followers will think twice before using sexist "humour" to...
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