This week's Sexuality Superhero is Davia Frost. Although Davia is based in Chicago, this advocate for sexual health education shares her knowledge with community health organizations, classes, lectures and coaching lessons across the world. She is the founder and owner of Frosted Pleasure, and offers sensual workshops at Chicago's The Pleasure Chest. Learn more about Davia below!
How did you find yourself working in the sexuality field?
For me my relationship with my sexuality started pretty young compared to most. Even with my parents being very religious and patriarchal people from Jamaica, I was so intrigued by bodies and any romantic scenes on TV and wanted to learn so much more. I would even reenact scenes I would see with my Barbies, I remember just wanting to be a voyeur just so I could see everything that was going on sensually and sexually. Back in the AOL days, I would be a voyeur also, by watching closely to the words as people I’ve never met engaged in cyber sex and how watching it made me feel. I would sneak and buy every Zane book I could find, as well as other black erotic books, since the people on the covers looked a lot like me and not like Barbie and Ken. Side note, did you know Zane got started with her Erotica on AOL? I would Yahoo and find any other books about sex and even sexual health and relationships. Then I would share that information with friends. I learned about my pleasure by exploring my own body, using porn as a explorational tool, and I was even able to guide my first intercourse for my own pleasure with my first partner. This went on all the way into the beginning of college sharing and teaching my roommates talking to them about sex and relationships, and taking them to adult stores like The Pleasure Chest, Tulip Galleria, and Early to Bed in Chicago. Tapping into my own sensuality and sexuality was even a healing modality for me with pole and lap dancing with my Sister Circle when I got out of a very toxic relationship while in college. Honestly it’s like this industry found me, I was always an advocate and it made sense when it came time to pick a career focus during my undergrad.
What is the best part of the job?
The best part of the job are the people who come to me thanking me for my help or saying some of the sweetest words to me about how I’ve changed or made their lives better. The community I’m able to create as far as a foundation for women who want to know how to harness their Good Pussy Energy, tapping into their inner goddess, and releasing their childhood conditions of the negative views of sensuality and sexuality. As well as the sweet nose for my followers who reach out extending loving words energy gratitude and their check ups if they see that I am not online or I’m taking a break and making sure everything is good on my side. Honestly, my followers or my snowflakes as I’d like to call them keep me not only humble but allow me to see or remind me that I’m walking in my life‘s purpose.
What is the most challenging part of the job?
The most challenging part of the job for me is (or was) the unsupportive words I’ve heard from family and close family friends, whether they say it directly to me or behind my back. Which I should say have made and even pushed me to work harder and create my own boundaries with them, to become unattached and unapologetic. They even push me to get better with my craft and they can all watch, and the funny part is that I see them watching and I love it.
The other hard part is the pushback from society and social media, constantly blocking, taking posts down, the shadow banning all without reading or paying attention to content. As well as the shaming and the hyper sexualization of naked bodies and people immediately labeling us as perverse beings who are doing the job to make sure that people are engaging in not only relationships, but their own sexuality in a more healthy and realistic way.
What is your most important piece of advice that has the potential to revolutionize relationships?
My piece of advice for relationships is that each individual is responsible for their own pleasure. Explore yourself and be direct about what you need, want, and desire in and out of the bedroom. Also that we make request of our partners and not demands. Which changes the energy around how we do and communicate things with and to our partners. And of course to remember to show and be verbal about our appreciation of one another.
What do you do to decompress and take care of yourself given that you spent so much time helping and caring for others?
How I decompress is by shutting down social media and take a necessary breaks when I tap in to my own energy. Also, remaining as much as possible, unattached to certain outcomes. I am also a lover of travel and when I need to get away I will hop on a plane in a heartbeat. It is also necessary to find a therapist for yourself as well, because we deal with a lot of deep (and maybe) triggering situations, not to mention we hold a lot of space for people and need to check on our own battery percentage and when we need to recharge.
What do you want people to know about your work as a founder of Frosted Pleasure?
I have a robust skillset to assist women and couples with connecting with their divine sexual energy. Frosted Pleasure is a platform that provides sensual classes, lectures and coaching sessions worldwide. I am a seminar facilitator for the Exxxotica Expo, the largest event dedicated to love and sex in the US, and I tour with the erotic conversation and play series Cocktails & Condoms created by Sexologist Tyomi Morgan-Najieb. I teach pleasure-based sex education at universities around the Chicagoland area, and I provide education to the masses at the Pleasure Chest Chicago, one of the nation's premiere adult boutiques. My advice has been featured on Bustle, Reader's Digest and Livestrong, as well as several podcasts around the US.
Where can we learn more about your work?
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