How Do I Know if My Partner is Over Their Ex?

Uncategorized Oct 23, 2019

I received this question from a podcast listener a while back and I’ve shared my insights below: What does it mean if my partner still talks about their ex? They’re no longer in touch, but how do I know if they’re over them and should I bring it up if it bothers me?

My very brief thoughts: It’s not uncommon to feel threatened by your partner’s ex, but these feelings are likely unfounded — especially if they’re no longer in the picture. Ask yourself *why* the thought or talk of their ex makes you uncomfortable and be honest with yourself about these vulnerable feelings instead of running from them. It’s normal to feel weak, scared, insecure, jealous and/or threatened at times especially when you’re dealing with an unknown. Simply acknowledging these feelings gives you a chance to lean into them, understand them and learn from them. You can’t address insecurity (or any feeling) if you pretend it doesn’t exist, so focus...

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How Do I Know if My Partner is Over Their Ex?

Uncategorized Oct 23, 2019

I received this question from a podcast listener a while back and I’ve shared my insights below: What does it mean if my partner still talks about their ex? They’re no longer in touch, but how do I know if they’re over them and should I bring it up if it bothers me?

My very brief thoughts: It’s not uncommon to feel threatened by your partner’s ex, but these feelings are likely unfounded — especially if they’re no longer in the picture. Ask yourself *why* the thought or talk of their ex makes you uncomfortable and be honest with yourself about these vulnerable feelings instead of running from them. It’s normal to feel weak, scared, insecure, jealous and/or threatened at times especially when you’re dealing with an unknown. Simply acknowledging these feelings gives you a chance to lean into them, understand them and learn from them. You can’t address insecurity (or any feeling) if you pretend it doesn’t exist, so focus...

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Sexuality Superheroes: Jade the Erotic Storyteller

Uncategorized Oct 21, 2019

Say hello to our newest Sexuality Superhero, Jade the Erotic Storyteller. Jade is a sexuality liberated writer and expressionist. Or should I say 'sex-pressionist'? She is the author of two books, Passion After Dark 1 & 2, a podcaster and speaker. Check out Jade's feature below to learn more!

How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

It began with my writing. Telling stories from a realistic perspective made my work relatable. Through my writing I came to learn so much about my own sexuality, then soon discovered women and men who dealt with very similar situations. Left and right people began to share their kinkiest secrets and fears. From there, my calling became clear to me.

What is the best part of the job?

Being able to connect with women and men who were once afraid to discuss sex openly.

What is the most challenging part of the job?

Censorship. It makes it difficult at times to promote my work. It's unfortunate that my work falls under an umbrella of illegal sex...

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10 Ways To Increase Your Chances of Orgasm

Uncategorized Oct 16, 2019

Hot sex and earth-shattering orgasms don’t always come naturally — most of us have to do a bit of learning along the way and it can be a lifelong process. I was recently interviewed on the topic and the journalist asked for a few tips on how to have an orgasm, which I’ve shared below:

1. Play with running water. Many of my clients who have never experienced orgasm, learn to do so with the help of a detachable shower head. Their water bills may soar, but it's a small price to pay for mind-blowing orgasms. Run it over your vulva, clit, backside and nipples and experiment with hot and cold to see how your body responds. The possibilities are endless! Just be sure to avoid spraying a stream of water directly into the vagina.

You might also want to check out the Waterslyde and the Femme Fountain if you’re into water play — not to be confused with water sports.

2. Hump furniture. If you emulate what you see in porn...

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10 Ways To Increase Your Chances of Orgasm

Uncategorized Oct 16, 2019

Hot sex and earth-shattering orgasms don’t always come naturally — most of us have to do a bit of learning along the way and it can be a lifelong process. I was recently interviewed on the topic and the journalist asked for a few tips on how to have an orgasm, which I’ve shared below:

1. Play with running water. Many of my clients who have never experienced orgasm, learn to do so with the help of a detachable shower head. Their water bills may soar, but it's a small price to pay for mind-blowing orgasms. Run it over your vulva, clit, backside and nipples and experiment with hot and cold to see how your body responds. The possibilities are endless! Just be sure to avoid spraying a stream of water directly into the vagina.

You might also want to check out the Waterslyde and the Femme Fountain if you’re into water play — not to be confused with water sports.

2. Hump furniture. If you emulate what you see in porn...

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Dr. Jess Talks Healthy Friendships & Relationships on The Morning Show

Uncategorized Oct 15, 2019

The benefits of healthy relationships are not only derived for your connection with your spouse and lover(s). The benefits of healthy working relationships and friendships are also well-documented, so investing in multiple connections will allow you to reap the rewards. Jess joined Carolyn and Jeff this morning on Global TV's The Morning Show to answer a few questions about friendships and share insights on research in the field.

Check out the video and summary below.

Tina asks:

Help! My fiancé doesn’t have any friends. I have a big group of friends and they’re welcoming of him into our group. But shouldn’t he have his own friends too?

Research suggests that men have fewer friends than women and that their ties are less intimate. However, we are seeing change with younger generations — one small scale study found that college men rate their friendships as more intimate than their relationships with their sexual/romantic partners. Read more about the...

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Sexuality Superheroes: Jennifer Beman

Uncategorized Oct 07, 2019

Say hello to this week's Sexuality Superhero! Jennifer is the artist behind the Graphic Sex Project: an interactive art installation where people make "graphs" of their sexual values and preferences using colored cubes. They can take a picture of their creation to share with a partner as a conversation-starter, and if they want they can add their graph to her growing collection. It's a playful, fun way to think about sex - and get some powerful insights into what you desire and what you care about. She's gathered over 700 graphs so far. The display of graphs is beautiful - a testament to the diversity of the human sexual experience. When she's not asking people to graph their sex lives, she edits documentaries for clients like National Geographic, Discovery, Smithsonian, PBS, and the History Channel. She lives outside of DC with her husband of 30 years, and two college-age children. Read more about Jennifer below!

How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

It was a...

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How to Stop Bickering, Fight Fair and Avoid Blowouts

Uncategorized Sep 30, 2019

After a week on the seas with Desire Experiences, Jess returned to Toronto today to join Carolyn and Vicki on The Morning Show and answer viewer questions about fighting in relationships. Check out the video and recap below.

We got married in the Spring and fought with and about his parents during the whole wedding planning process. Now it seems like we’re fighting about every little thing every day - chores, work, time with friends. How can we nip this fighting in the bud as newlyweds?

A new study found that couples who fight about the more manageable resolvable issues fare better in the long run.

Rather than trying to resolve all of your feelings related to his family, start with the little things: household chores, where/when you work and how you spend time with friends. When you take a solution-oriented approach to more concrete resolvable issues, you’ll likely achieve success together and this can help you to build trust and security.

As you develop this...

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Sexuality Superheroes: Alisha Fisher

Uncategorized Sep 30, 2019

This week's Sexuality Superhero is Alisha Fisher. Alisha has worked under Jess in the past, learning from her in both business and theory. She has since butterflied into her own expertise, teaching clients about her insights on intimacy, and embracing their desire for sexual pleasure. Read her feature below and get to know Alisha a little better.

How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

It was all the way back in Elementary School, that I found myself being fascinated with how people in intimate partnerships interacted. Asking myself questions like: Why were intimate relationships important? What was happening to our bodies that made us crave intimate touch? etc. Of course, my language was not as developed at that time, but I quickly became the sex-guru-go-to for all questions surrounding gender identity, gender roles, sexual orientations, Kinky connections, Role Play, relationship advice, sexual advice and so forth!

I blindly went into the world of Psychology,...

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Dr. Jess on the Challenges & Benefits of Being a Sexologist, and the State of Sex Education

Uncategorized Sep 25, 2019

In 2017, I was profiled by the Sexual Health Magazine for their cover story. As exciting as it is to be featured on the cover of this magazine, I think my interview has some really good takeaways. So I am posting this here for future reference. Feel free to check out the interview in this digital copy of July 2017's Sexual Health Magazine, or read it below. :)

1.When did you know you wanted to be a sexpert? What inspired you?

I didn’t aspire to be a “sexpert" — I fell into it by accident. My passion is education and eleven years ago, I was teaching at a high school whose students were deemed “at-risk”. I saw the costs of a sex education system that was failing them. Every week students came to me looking for help with abusive relationships, STIs, unplanned pregnancy, birth control, gender identity and sexual orientation.

I wanted to be a part of the solution, so I went back to school to study sexual health education with a focus on teacher...

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