O is for Octopus, Oyster and Osmolagnia

Uncategorized Oct 20, 2011

Octopus

via GIPHY

The Octopus sex position involves two people sitting on their bums face-to-face with their arms on the ground behind them for support. The receptive partner puts his/her legs up on the other’s shoulders so that their eight limbs can be used to help thrust around like an octopus.

Oyster

via GIPHY

The Oyster sexual technique is much like the teabag in that involves dropping your scrotal sac into your partner’s mouth while s/he lies on his/her back. But with the oyster, you cool your balls first by rubbing them with ice…which begs the obvious question, why not?

Osmolagnia

via GIPHY

Refers to sexual stimulation that occurs in response to smells — especially those emitted by the body. Mmm. Go ahead and breathe it all in!

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N is for Nibbing, Nose Job & Nocturnal Emission

Uncategorized Oct 12, 2011

After a very long break in Alphabet Sex Soup, let’s resume where we left off with the not-so-nasty letter N…

Nibbing

via GIPHY

Refers to hiding an erection by tucking the penis into the waistband of your pants or underwear. No one will ever know!!!

Nose Job

via GIPHY

Sex is supposed to be sticky and messy right? So why not get your nose in there (yup — in there) and use it to rub, stroke and breathe your way into a nice wet mess.The Nose Job is a fun cunnilingus move that can be used to apply varying degrees of pressure to a lubed-up clitoral glans, labia, vaginal opening, perineum or anus. Have fun and breathe easy!

Nocturnal Emission

via GIPHY

A Nocturnal Emission is a wet dream. In other words, it’s a term used by sexologists to make cumming in your sleep sound all scientific. Sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found that 83% of males reported having wet dreams and 37% of females had experienced a sex dream...

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Need a Girlfriend for Thanksgiving?

Uncategorized Oct 03, 2011

With Thanksgiving weekend quickly approaching, this year's latest techno-dating gadget offers fake partners just in time for the holidays.

Blow-up dolls

There seems to be something about the holidays that prompts us to turn our thoughts to love...or lust...or something like that. Last year we had the Turkey Dump site aimed at offering support for first-year students going through break-ups and now Fakegirlfriend.co brings us feigned relationships via text message.

That's right. According to Digital Life, all you have to do is save the service's phone number in your cell phone under your fake girlfriend's (or boyfriend's) name and then send a text message to their number to get a response. But if a hot sexting session is what you're after, you may be left hanging. Apparently, the generic text and pre-recorded phone messages designed to "prove" that you have a girlfriend include"Please come hang out with me? Please? I really miss you" and"I just need someone to talk to ... Call me?" All...

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The Danger of... Breasts!?

Uncategorized Aug 29, 2011

Do they attack without warning? Nope.

Do they approach aggressively and poke you in the eye? Nope. (Not unless you ask them to and the mood happens to strike them.)

Are they the cause of social, economic or political injustice? I don't think so.

via GIPHY

Bare breasts are pretty harmless. Women who walk around (or lay on the grass) topless don't spread disease, provoke violence or harm children, because nudity is natural -- and not necessarily sexual. In a culture that conflates the nudity with sexuality, sexualization and sex, we seem to forget that the simple act of seeing someone else naked is not inherently erotic. Sure, breasts may be arousing, but arousal stimuli are highly subjective. Many people are just as aroused by covered breasts, tight turtlenecks, loose t-shirts that leave a whole heap to the imagination, feet, smiles, sounds, perfume or warm apple pie. Mmm. Apple pie...and the list goes on!

Sure. Topless women can be exciting, sexy and sexual (and there's nothing...

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Workshop Sneak Peek: 3 Tips to Improve Sex & Intimacy

Uncategorized Aug 22, 2011

One of the best parts of my job (and yes -- it's hard to choose a favourite in this line of work) is teaching pleasure-based workshops for men, women and couples. I have a whole series of workshops planned over the next few months and a number of participants have emailed me looking for a few tips to get them started in the meantime...

Here are 3 quick tips to improve sex and intimacy:

1. Have Oral!

via GIPHY

Oral sex isn't just about what goes down between your legs -- it's about T-A-L-K as much as it is about S-E-X. Great communication skills make for a happy sex life and research suggests that those who talk about sex with a partner report higher levels of sexual satisfaction. And though it might be hard topic to talk about at first, the payoff is well worth it. A few tips to get you started: Choose a neutral time to initiate the talk. Don't try talking about it as you're getting hot and heavy or right after you've finished. It will feel less threatening if you don't bring it up...

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Boys Who Masturbate Are More Likely to Use Condoms

Uncategorized Aug 02, 2011

Go Ahead and Masturbate!

It won't make your palms hairy. And you won't go blind. And no -- it won't make your penis or clitoris grow crooked...

But it is connected with an increased likelihood of engaging in safer sex practices. That's right! According to a new report, 86 percent of boys who reported using a condom the last time they had sex also reported that they had masturbated in the past year. Only 44 percent of those who said they didn't masturbate also reported using a condom.

Aside from the association between masturbation and safer sex, pleasuring yourself is also linked with a host of other health benefits including relaxation, pain relief, prostate health, improved mood and increased energy levels.

via GIPHY

Not to mention the fact that masturbation cannot result in STI transmission or unplanned pregnancy. So go ahead and warm up a banana peel or charge up your favourite new sex toy and indulge a little in the name of health and...

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Some Women Are “Easy”: Part 2

Uncategorized Jul 25, 2011

Continued from the previous post.

With regard to basing one’s “performance” on the presence or absence of orgasm alone, this can be a huge detractor from the overall sexual experience. Not only do I hear droves of women complaining that hearing “Did you come yet?” is a total mood-killer, but when you’re focused on performance, you’re far less likely to enjoy the ride.

In short, sex shouldn’t feel like “work”, so take the pressure off. I’m not suggesting you be wholly selfish and ignore your partner’s needs, but if something feels like work, it’s probably not working. Reframe your approach to do things you enjoy and take pleasure in your partner’s pleasure and drop the goal-oriented approach.

In terms of women needing lots of romance, seduction, and stimulation, this is sometimes the case. And sometimes it’s not. Some women like lots of stimulation, foreplay and romancing while others could care...

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Some Women Are “Easy”: Part 1

Uncategorized Jul 25, 2011

In the past few weeks, I’ve heard three men comment that “women are hard work” when it comes to sex. Each of these statements was framed as a bit of a concern with regard to how much romancing, seduction, and stimulation is required for women to experience both sexual desire and orgasm. I think this is an interesting observation shared by a number of men and I have a few thoughts on the topic…

I write (and teach) a lot about all the work that goes into sexual relationships as well as the need to cultivate desire and work for sexual arousal — and though both women and men generally require both physical (body-based) and subjective (mind-based) arousal to enjoy sex, it is possible that my work emphasizes the need to work up and arouse women more so than men. So it follows that people may be left with the impression that women are more “work” than men when it comes to sex.

Now I wouldn’t refer to romance and sex play as...

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Chatting or Cheating? When does online chatting cross the line?

In-the-flesh affairs are easy to identify. From making out in a cab to sneaking away for some afternoon delight, unless you’re Bill Clinton, there is little ambiguity when physical contact is involved. But the same cannot always be said for online affairs and the line between friendly chatter and full-blown cheating is often blurred by distance, uncertainty and sometimes a dose of self-serving rationalization.

In my practice, I hear from many clients who admit to crossing lines of infidelity online that they wouldn’t dare approach in-person. Whether they’re sending flirty Facebook messages or full-on sexts, technology has not only transformed the way we communicate, but it has also changed the way we cheat.

Dr. Katherine Hertlein, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist believes that online chatting is set up perfectly to facilitate cheating. “It’s affordable, accessible and anonymous,” explains Hertlein. “And since...

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You Don't Have to Want Sex!

Sex is Healthy. But it's also healthy to not experience sexual attraction.

In my business, we talk a lot about being sex-positive. This means that we see sex as a natural, healthy part of human life and that we're open to a range of interests, tastes, desires, and behaviours. We try not to judge others based on their unique sexual inclinations and we believe in sexual rights -- including the right to accurate information, the right to engage in consensual activities and the right to enjoy sexual fantasies.

But this doesn't mean that we believe that people ought to engage in sexual activities or that they must have sexual fantasies if these things don't seem desirable or even natural. Each person's interest in sex varies over time with age, lifestyle, health, stress, partners, peers and a confluence of other factors. And some people do not experience sexual attraction at all -- some research suggests that approximately one percent of the population is asexual. But what...

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