I recently hosted a women’s workshop in which a number of questions about sex toys kept coming up. Since so many of us share similar questions and concerns, I’ve decided to post the answers below…
Question: I’ve heard that sex toys are common — even for couples, but I’m afraid to bring up the subject to my boyfriend, because I don’t know how he’ll react. Do you have any advice to make it easier?
You’re absolutely right. Many women and men use sex toys and research suggests that those who use them actually report higher levels of sexual satisfaction. Woohoo! And though more women are willing to admit to owning a sex toy, men’s attitudes are also overwhelmingly positive with 70 percent reporting that they don’t find them intimidating.
To start the conversation with your partner, consider these strategies:
I got a cold sore a few weeks back. It was really no surprise since stress is my main trigger and I’d been working on the road for five weeks living out of hotel rooms. When I landed back in Toronto, I felt the tingle on my way to an evening of events. I turned to my partner and exclaimed, “I think I’m getting a cold sore. I’m excited!”
Also a cold sore sufferer (since his toddler years just like me), he was obviously perplexed by my exclamation. “What?”
“I’ll finally get a chance to try that Cold Sore FX,” I explained.
“Awesome!” He responded with more than a hint of sarcasm.
Cold Sore FX caught my attention a few months back, as they’ve been working to de-stigmatize cold sores and correct misinformation about the virus and breakouts. They’ve also done a whole whack of research (the biggest study in Canada) as part of this campaign and as a sexologist, some of the findings were alarming –...
The Raphe is the dividing line that runs all the way from the anus, across the perineum, up the scrotal sac to the very tip of the penis. Ask your partner to stand with his legs shoulder-width apart while you kneel on the floor beneath him and lick his raphe with a wide, wet tongue.
Retifism refers to sexual arousal that is derived from shoes. And since the foot is the most common fetish in North America, it’s no surprise that there are a ton of retifists in our mist. Here’s to sky-high heels in the bedroom!
Rimming involves licking, sucking and kissing around the butt-hole.
Rusty Trombone: Are you a musician at heart? Then you’ll love this one whether you’re a giver or receiver! The Rusty Trombone involves eating-out a man’s butt from behind, while reaching around to stroke his penis as though you’re playing a trombone. Two words: why not?
And What Was Missing in the Morning...
This is a true story from a brave client who is willing to re-tell it for our education and amusement.
I receive lots of great stories from clients all over the world, but this one stands out because it reinforces one of my Mind-Blowing-Sex gold rules: Lube changes your life!
After sharing this pearl of wisdom with the 70 brave women who attended The Greatest Sex of Your Life event a few weeks back, one smart (and very pretty) lady approached me to tell me just how much she agreed with my take on lube. Here is her story…
A few days ago, I decided to engage in my first one night stand…with a hot Argentinian polo player.
Hot and well-hung, he claims that it’s impossible to cum with the condom on because the little buggers are just too tight for his massive manhood. So to make the experience better for him, I grab my travel-sized version of Maximus lube and start giving him a very slippery hand job. He seems to enjoy...
Sex is supposed to feel good -- actually, it's supposed to feel great! And though you don't need to have an orgasm to enjoy sex, it's no secret that orgasm is the high-point of pleasure for most men and women. However, this doesn’t mean that orgasms during intercourse are out of the question. In fact, orgasms that combine penetration with clitoral stimulation can be intensely satisfying for all parties involved.
One approach to orgasm-inducing intercourse involves the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT). This positioning and movement can provide a woman with both vaginal and clitoral stimulation, stimulate a man’s shaft and prostatic nerves and does not require any challenging gymnastic moves or flexibility. Hooray! Because we’re tired of swinging off chandeliers, right?
The CAT is a basic modification of the missionary position that involves the man riding up on a woman’s pelvis so they can rock and rub the clitoris against the base of his penis...
Many thanks to Warren for sharing his real story of how he broke his penis:
Last weekend, I was at my local sex club around 2AM in full view of several others and having intercourse from behind with my girlfriend in our regular rough manner (she likes the hair pulling, and the bum slapping, etc.) when I suddenly slipped out and then tried to immediately reinsert. But she must have zigged and I’ve always been much more of a zagger, because I think I hit her taint on the way in and thus, crumpled my penis. It hurt a good deal and it didn’t pop or bend really so much as…well, crumple. It started to bleed substantially and I thought it must have ripped the skin which I knew was no big deal so I wasn’t too freaked out at this time. Turns out the bleeding was coming from the inside and stopped rather quickly as soon as the urethra shut down altogether, which as it happens, was very bad. Penis-threateningly bad.
We prepared to leave the Club and I...
As the new year rolls in, we tend to focus on resolutions to improve our overall health. Gym memberships fly of the shelf, diet products sell out in response to turkey overload (how blessed we are to eat until we're full!) and new programs to quit our not-so-healthy habits make headlines with stories of success. It really is an exciting time and I think everyone deserves and can benefit from the feeling of a fresh start!
While you're making resolutions to live a better life and become a better version of yourself, be sure to take some time to look at your relationships. It only takes a few minutes, but thinking about your connections with friends, family, partners and co-workers can help you gain a new perspective on the ways in which you interact with others. Healthy relationships are of paramount importance to your own happiness and self-esteem and, so take some time to nourish them and take pride in those from the past, present and future.
I don't usually write about my personal...
Thanks to my British friend, Jon Jackson, for defining Quasimodo-Wank which involves masturbating to the sound of bells. And why not? If the clock strikes twelve and the mood happens to strike you, then go for it! Just don’t do it beneath the church bell tower please and thank you.
The Queef is also known as a vaginal fart, but unlike a bum fart (ew – I don’t even like writing about real farts), a queef contains no waste gases. Hooray! A queef is just the natural expulsion of air from the vagina that sometimes occurs during sexual activity. There is no need to be embarrassed by the sound and a normal queef isn’t odorous so get busy and queef away. Just don’t ever blow air into the vagina, because this could cause an air embolism.
A Quickie is a short sexual interlude that usually excludes “foreplay”. Quickies are a great way to relieve tension, reduce stress and calm the nerves in the middle of...
The Pearl Necklace
Involves spraying your ejaculate on your partner’s neck/chest so that it looks like s/he is wearing pearls. Use your imagination and remember to ask first!
Refers to a woman penetrating her male partner’s butt with a strap-on dildo. The term was coined by Dan Savage who asked his readers to vote on the best term for “a woman fucking a man in the ass with a strap-on dildo” and pegging beat out BOBing (bend-over-boyfriend) and Punting (kicking the ball to the other team)
This is easy and fun to visualize. It involves two (or more) people engaging in any sort of sexual activity in which one partner walks or runs away right before the other reaches orgasm. The abandoned partner chases after the ditcher with his/her pants around the ankles so that the it looks like s/he is running like a penguin. Get it?
Refers to the a persistent,...