How To Talk Dirty: Part 1

Of all the workshops I teach, Dirty Talk, is among my favourites! I promise clients that if they learn to talk dirty, they can be the laziest lovers and still blow their partners’ minds. This is because dirty talk is all about learning to tap into your most intense fantasies and bring them to life in words. And since fantasy is often hotter than reality, crawling into your partner’s dirty mind is the key to a long-lasting and fulfilling sexual relationship.

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Many people learn to talk dirty from porn, but this leaves them with a limited repertoire that excludes the personal element of sexy talk. Moreover, dirty talk doesn’t have to be rough, hardcore or even sexual to be erotic. The most enticing bedroom chatter can be romantic, teasing, alluring, demanding, submissive, naughty and fantastical.

Follow these guidelines to get started and be sure to check back next week for some explicit one-liners you can use to develop your dirty talk arsenal:

The first...

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Single Women And The Absence Of Contraceptives

Even in today’s society, with all of its medical and scientific advancements, many women still fail to use contraception. The use of contraception can help reduce the risk of STD/STIs and prevent many unwanted pregnancies, yet it falls by the wayside for many women. There are many factors that go into a woman’s decision on why she chooses not to use a form of contraception.

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Many women’s religious beliefs forbid the use of contraception. They are told that sexual intercourse is only for the production of children, therefore they do not need to use methods against childbirth. They are however permitted to use the “rhythm method” or cycle beads. These forms rely on counting days or beads to determine fertile days. These methods are highly unreliable because women’s cycles change and are not the same amount of days each month.

There can also be societal factors that would make them uncomfortable talking, let alone, seeking out,...

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How to Get What You Want

“I’ll never have a sexual life like other women.”

“I’m too wounded to have a good sexual life or relationship.”

“It’s just not in the cards for me.”

“Everyone else is fixable—but me.”

“My perfect relationship just doesn’t exist.”

I hear these things all the time from people—women, especially. People often go to a place of disbelief about having what they really desire because on some level it’s safer to believe they just can’t have it. If they just accept that they can’t really have what they want, they don’t have to do anything different, challenge themselves anew and risk the possibility of it being true. So they just decide it’s inevitable.

It’s only true if you believe it to be.

You create your life, every minute of every day.

This scarcity belief is a way to protect the self from further hurt and it keeps you small. If this sounds like you or...

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George Clooney: I Never Want to Get Married Again

I woke up yesterday morning to a news story  about George Clonney possibly being single and once again his beliefs on marriage came under fire. George married Talia Balsam in 1989 and they were divorced in 1993. After their split, he said he would never marry again. This is always a hot topic with media and this belief can rub people the wrong way. But here is the thing: he said he was never going to marry again -- not that he was never going to commit to someone else or be in a relationship ever again. Here is the other thing: he might also be happy the way he is. Should we be calling him a forever- playboy or perhaps acknowledging that he is brave enough to work out what he wants in life and stand up for it publicly.

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We live in a society that puts so much emphasis on marriage as the ultimate happiness. But for some couples (some who have been together for quite some time), marriage can come with a lot of unwanted pressure that wreaks havoc on the relationship. If...

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The New Pre-Gaming: Should You Masturbate Before a Date?

About The Author

Dr. Megan Stubbs

Dr. Megan Stubbs is a Grand Rapids-based Sexologist. She holds a doctor of education in Human Sexuality from San Francisco’s Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and a degree in Biology from Grand Valley State University. She also Board Certified by the American College of Sexologists (ACS).

 

Who doesn’t get a little nervous before a first date? Hands up please. No one? Right.

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Even if you are the most charismatic, confident, good-looking person out there, you may still feel a little uncertainty in your mind. Is masturbating the new pre-date activity to help alleviate those nerves? Most of us have seen that scene from There’s Something About Mary.

All joking aside, is this a viable option to cure a case of the nerves?

Can a pre-game to help keep your mind off of sex on your date? I am highly doubtful. If you are concerned with thinking about sex the entire time on your date, I don’t think masturbation will...

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The Bare Truth: Why I Don't Have Pubic Hair

About The Author

Alyssa Royse is the co-host of Sexxx Talk Radio on the progressive Radio Network and is doing her best to create a sex-positive world for her 3 daughters.

 

“Why do women remove their pubic hair?” An older woman asks me on my spa day.

This is such a loaded question these days. And admittedly, as a woman in my 40′s, I am older than most of the people who seemed to have embraced the Brazilian. In recent months, prominent sex-scholars have gone so far as to say that removing all of your pubic hair promotes pedophilia, infantilizes women and that the men who prefer it do so because they either like little girls or want women to be powerless. Such talk – and it is rampant – infuriates me. Besides being completely wrong, it assumes that women are somehow powerless to make these choices for themselves.

I don’t know what to say to her. So I just tell her the simple truth. “I do it because I want to.”

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“Oh,...

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Sex Is A Skill

I made my students repeat aloud “Sex is a skill,” as I was beginning the sexuality module in my college courses last week, their collective voices paired with open and uncomfortable grins.

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I am always amazed at how many people do not realize that yes, SEX REQUIRES SKILL! It does not come naturally. Nothing does, except maybe breathing. When we come into this world, we don’t know how to do anything—not even eat. That’s why there are so many breast-feeding consultants. Babies need to learn how to take their mothers’ breast into their mouths and suckle, and new moms need to learn how to teach them!
When we are born, we don’t know how to drive a car, play Frisbee or soccer, cook a turkey, or dress ourselves with style. All of these things must be learned. And so must sex.

Yet we have all these romantic notions that somehow sex is just natural, it “just happens” and, it’s perfect with “the one” you love,...

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The Work Husband: Harmless Fun Or Something More?

Having a close ally at work can create a more productive work environment, increase job satisfaction and motivate you to spend more time at the office. This may explain why 65 per cent of professionals admit to having a work spouse, a non-competitive business companion with whom you share everything work related...and sometimes more.

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The concept of a work spouse goes beyond having a friendly co-worker with similar interests. Chemistry is what separates your your work friends from the special connection you share with your work spouse. You click in a unique way with this person and feel comfortable expressing a range of emotions including some degree of vulnerability. You’re attracted to them on several levels and though the appeal may not be sexual from the onset, many admit that it often develops into physical desire. Work spouses also give you an ego boost, a dose of excitement and a sense of being appreciated for who you are as opposed to what you do.

If you...

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I'll Have What She's Having: Japanese Bar Dedicated Entirely To Female Masturbation

I'm sure most women find it frustrating that female masturbation does not share the same level of open discussion as male masturbation. Luckily, there are some who are fighting for the cause!

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Tokyo, Japan has opened bar Love Joule, which acts as a safe space for women to gather, have a few drinks and openly discuss masturbation with one another. Behind the bar is not a vast display liquor, but a colourful array of vibrators.

Love Joule attempts to blast the stigma of female masturbation, which unfortunately remains a taboo subject. This bar is a female-only space, allowing men to enter only when accompanied by a woman. Patrons of the bar appreciate the safe environment created to allow women to get together and discuss sex and masturbation, without prying eyes and ears.

The bar is a huge hit, with an already expanding clientele. Love Joule is a step in the right direction toward diminishing the unnecessary stigma that surrounds the topic of female...

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Stuck In A Sex Slump?

Sex is a vital component of a healthy relationship. Aside from the (hopefully) mutual enjoyment it provides, sex also releases a flood of powerful neurochemicals that cause you to feel closer to your partner. Great sex can relieve stress, break tension, and facilitate recovery after a big fight.
It’s easy to have frequent, passionate sex early on, but what about when sex dries up a bit as the relationship becomes long term?

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Running errands, catching up on work, and other activities that are part of the daily grind can interfere with time normally reserved for romance. This often leaves women feeling neglected and men feeling sexually frustrated, although these feelings are by no means gender exclusive.

I frequently receive emails from guys who can’t explain the sexual slump they’re in. Women reach out and tell me they don’t quite know why, but they don’t feel the same passion, the same spark they used to feel.

It boils down to a case of...

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