We recently sat down with Telisha Ng, commonly known as the Goddess Intellect. Telisha is a relationship coach and well-known blogger. With so many readers asking us common questions about communication and intimacy in relationships, we thought we'd pass them along to none other than the Goddess Intellect herself. Here's what Telisha had to tell us:
1. When it comes to sex and relationships, what is the most common mistake we make as couples and how can we fix it?
The most common mistake couples make in relationships is that we often expect our partners to know how to meet our needs at all times. I think that the assumption that we only need to communicate our needs once and never again is how we develop resentment and hurt feelings in relationships. The best way to fix this is to keep communication flowing and constant, taking the time to listen to each other and to the meaning behind the words and actions. Never be afraid to express when you have been hurt or when you feel pleased...
Right after Dr. Jess' trip to The Calgary Taboo Show, she headed to Edmonton for round two! The blanket of snow over Edmonton was truly a beautiful sight, and Jess was just as dazzled by all the exciting products, people and performances at The Edmonton Taboo Show. Thanks to companies like The Traveling Tickle Trunk and Passion Parties, there was never a dull moment! And thanks to Maple Leaf Fudge, Jess was always well-fed! Check out all the kinky, fun photos from The Edmonton Taboo Show below.
Dr. Jess tries her hand (and feet) at walking on the "human carpet". Each and every day offers a new learning opportunity...
The amazing "human carpet!"
Bondage fun at the Edmonton Taboo Show.
Apparently, Dr. Jess really enjoyed that "human carpet!"
Jess had a blast sharing 10 Steps to Hotter Sex on behalf of Desire Resorts
Beautiful Violet '420' Vega.
Visiting the Passion Parties booth
Passion Parties is a great company for all your sexy, in-home party needs!
Have you had casual sex in the past week? Month? Year? How did it compare to the sex you've had with a long-term partner? Chances are, it wasn't quite as good. But what classifies as a "good" or "successful" casual encounter?
A recent article published in the Globe and Mail reports new research findings indicating that women are less likely to orgasm during casual sex than in intercourse during a serious relationship. My question is: Is this news? The answer: Not exactly.
As the article states, "Like generations before them, many young women […] are finding that casual sex does not bring the physical pleasure men more often experience." What is news, however, is the way in which women are embracing casual sex. Despite both their statistical misfortune with regards to "the big O" and the relentless one-sided gender, women seem to be opening their minds to the idea of a casual hookup now more than ever. This in no way means women are more "slutty" than ever. Research simply...
Nicole Marie Guiniling is a comics artist, writer and researcher. She runs the Toronto-based company Ad Astra Comix, a website and retail outlet specializing in political and historical comic books. Her upcoming workshop “Sex: A Graphic History” exploring the last 200 years of comic and cartoon erotica, is taking place on Sunday, November 24 at Ohhh Canada (721 Queen Street West, 2nd Floor).
You’ve read Fifty Shades of Grey, taken a few good sex workshops and experimented with blindfolds, restraints and hot wax. But have you taken the time to discuss the concept of R.A.C.K with your lover(s)? If so, we’d love to hear your thoughts. If not, please read through this non-exhaustive explanation and consider talking to your partner(s) about what kinky sex means to you.
The following is an excerpt from my new book, The Little Book of Kink:
R.A.C.K. stands for risk-aware, consensual kink and this basic phrase outlines two of the essential components of kink while recognizing that there is some risk inherent to all sex play.
For kinky sex to be considered risk-aware, all parties involved must understand and acknowledge the potential negative outcomes of the proposed activity. These risks are ideally discussed ahead of time -- not in the heat of the moment when sexual tension is already building. It is important to address the measures you plan to take to minimize...
Texting has become a significant part of today's dating world. Whether you're single, just starting to date someone or you've been with your partner for many years, chances are you communicate through text more often than not. So how is texting impacting our intimate relationships? When and how should we use texting to communicate with our partners?
Dr.Jess recently sat down with Dr.Oren Amitay, Clinical Psychologist and Professor of Human Sexuality, to discuss the "dos and don'ts" of texting in relationships.
Here are a few points' from Dr.Jess' conversation with Dr.Amitay:
1. So much of communication is expressed through body language and tone.
Text does not allow you the option to express yourself with your body language or your tone. Sure, emoticons are a start, but nothing compares to the nuances of face-to-face communication. This is why Dr.Amitay tells his patients that even a thousand texts are not worth one face-to-face conversation.
2. Always know when to...
The Calgary Taboo Show was an absolute blast! In addition to hosting 12 jam-packed shows and meeting some fun and sexy Canucks, Dr. Jess got to try out a few cool products from Scentsy, No More Wet Spot and BlissToys. It's a tough job, but someone has got to do it!
During her off hours, Dr. Jess had a chance to explore the beautiful city of Calgary. She spotted a deer in the back of a pick-up truck, tried her hand (and discovered her two left feet) at two-stepping and chased bunnies through the snow. What more could one ask for? Check out some of the pics below.
Dr. Jess with the lovely Dr. Trina Read.
I have a passion for food.
I love how you can take simple ingredients and create masterpieces and then you get to enjoy the fruits of your labor by giving your palate an experience.
I see food, as I do most things, to be very erotic.
Food, like sex, makes you feel good. If the meal is delicious enough, it can give you a moment of escape and at the end of it you’re left satisfied.
This sexperience is about how my partner and I tied my love for food and sex together and created magic.
I have never forgotten this occasion because it was the one and only time food was incorporated into my sexual play.
During a lazy afternoon of cuddling, reading and watching television my girlfriend at the time and I decided to cook something to eat… well actually I decided I was hungry so she decided to cook for me. I had a pretty nice set up with her. She was a woman who absolutely loved to cook and I love to eat.
She would cook me my favorite meals and to show my gratitude for...
Toronto's mayor, Rob Ford, has admitted that he smoked crack cocaine during a drunken stupor. But he insists that he didn't lie to the public. When asked "do you use crack-cocaine" in earlier interviews, he has been insistent that he doesn't use the drug. It seems that he is following in the footsteps of Bill Clinton and utilizing semantics to justify his dishonesty.
Just as Clinton steadfastly denied having "sexual relations with that woman" on the grounds that he never actually had intercourse, Ford claims he didn't lie, as he doesn't use crack cocaine. He admits that he has tried it in the past, but use implies a habitual act. He may be able to use semantics and grammatical accuracy to his advantage to a small (mostly unsucessful) degree, but the bottom line is that he purposefully deceived the public, which is tantamount to lying.
In our intimate relationships, we expect honesty from our partners and the withholding of key information often precludes honesty. If your lover...
Over the years, I’ve written a great deal about dirty talk. From general guidelines to hot phrases you can use to rile your lover up, dirty talk is one of my favourite topics to cover...and put into practice.
In several of my workshops (including Steamy Sex for Couples and Rock his/her World) I ask participants to share what they want to hear in bed via secret ballot. Each person writes down a few things they’d like their lover to say in the heat of the moment and we read them aloud as a group without identifying the source.
The following is an unscientific summary of the most popular lines I’ve collected from thousands of workshop participants.
What men say they want to hear:
“I’m coming!” This line comes up multiple times in every workshop without exception.
“Your penis/cock/dick/wiener is so big.” Yes -- someone actually wrote “wiener”.
“You make me so wet.” More on this here