Up Close and Personal With The Semenette

Uncategorized Oct 22, 2015

Last month, I had the pleasure of attending and speaking at the Sexual Health Expo with Astroglide in New York City. I had a blast all weekend long and ran into old friends from Desire Resorts, The Pleasure Chest NYC and We-Vibe to name a few. I also had the pleasure of meeting a host of new folks including Stephanie Berman, President of Berman Innovations, LLC and creator of The Semenette. I was so excited to learn more about their new product and am pleased to feature an interview with Stephanie below. Please check it out!

What inspired you to create this product?

In the past, in my personal life, I have had relationships with both men and women. Having experienced intimacy with both "sides," I have a keen understanding of the differences between what heterosexual couples and same-sex couples can do and experience in the privacy of their bedroom. My inspiration in designing and developing The Semenette® was to afford same-sex couples the opportunity to mimic the...

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Jess Chats Roommates with Fred & Mel on 102.1 The Edge

Uncategorized Sep 09, 2015

Jess joins Fred and Mel every Wednesday morning at 7:40am, so be sure to tune into 102.1 The Edge!

This week, they discuss the rules of sex and relationships for those living with roommates. Some of Jess' top tips include:

1. Keep the noise to a minimum. This means that moans, groans and dirty talk should be kept to a reasonable level. Depending on the size of your place and the location of your bed, you may not be able to muffle every little sound, but putting your face in the pillow, playing music and/or investing in a good quality gag should ensure that your roomies aren't privy to your every fantasy.

2. Talk about nudity rules. If your name is on a lease, you have a say in the rules of your household. I love nudity, but not everyone does, so keep your lover(s) informed of the nudity rules before they wander into the hallway in their birthday suit.

3. Don't expect to have many in-house date nights with a lover if their name isn't on the lease....

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What's more important than your photo in your online dating profile?

Uncategorized Sep 03, 2015

According to recent research regarding online dating, your profile pic is not the most important element of your online bio. A review of 4000 studies suggests that you might want to put a little more effort into your screen name, as it is just as important as the photo itself. If you're looking to craft an attractive screen name, consider these findings based on a review of 4000 studies:

  • Avoid using names that include words that might have negative associations like "little" or "bug".
  • Consider the gender of the person you're trying to attract. Men tend to be drawn to names that imply physical attractiveness (e.g. cute) and women are drawn to names that suggest intelligence.
  • When crafting your headline message, keep it brief and avoid complex language. Readers are more likely to be drawn to words that are easy to remember and pronounce.
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The Key To A Lasting Relationship

Uncategorized Aug 01, 2015

Check out Jess' latest column in Post City Magazines by clicking on the image below (opens new window) and pick up your copy around Toronto on the first of each month!

Dr JESS Post City August 2015

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Swinging Advice from the Cast of Playboy TV's "Swing" Part 1

Uncategorized Jul 20, 2015

This post is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

As the host of PlayboyTV’s Swing, I have the unique and humbling experience of working with couples who are willing to share the most intimate details of their relationships. The cast of the show is comprised of couples from all corners of the country who take a non-traditional approach to happily ever after: they identify as Swingers who open their relationships up to consensual extramarital sexual encounters. Though couples who swing face their regular share of challenges (every marriage is hard work!), many believe that the communication and openness required to navigate the Lifestyle deepens their connection, intensifies intimacy and leads to a lasting erotic connection. Swinging certainly isn’t for everyone, but almost everyone is intrigued by this alternative arrangement and I receive hundreds of questions related to the lifestyle every year. Since the cast of PlayboyTV’s Swing is comprised of experienced...

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Swinging Advice from the Cast of Playboy TV's "Swing" Part 2

Uncategorized Jul 20, 2015

Continued from Part 1 here...

via GIPHY

How can you improve communication with your partner (and others) in the lifestyle?

Nikki and Daniel (pictured left): Use swinger vocabulary to explore ideas, but don't try to conform your relationship to that vocabulary. Explore the lifestyle at your own pace and according to the values you hold in your relationship.

Swinger Vocabulary includes the full spectrum of "Swapping", from Soft, Girl/Girl Only to Full, Completely Open.

In almost all instances of asking someone what they consider Completely Open, I hear everything from “totally open” as long as they are under the same roof to solo play dates (with or without specific rules governing those solo play dates).

Using those terms as goals or check marks or specific milestones to achieve is the sure way to undervalue the unique dynamics of your relationship.

Additionally, many swinger (or monogamish) vocabulary terms may be controversial in certain circles. In some circles,...

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Is Caitlyn Jenner's Vanity Fair Cover Just Another Stereotype?

Uncategorized Jun 15, 2015

The Toronto Star ran a thoughtful piece on Caitlyn Jenner's Vanity Fair Cover today. Columnist, Judith Timson, critiques the sexy cover images and suggests that Jenner's image is a reflection of stereotypical standards of beauty. I'm inclined to agree.

Timson's critique is both important and thought-provoking and I share many of her concerns regarding images of female beauty and fantasy. However, I'm not sure I agree on all fronts, as I don't believe that "the way most women look" is any more impervious to cultural pressure.

I've shared a few (incomplete thoughts) about my conflicted response on Facebook and have decided to past them below. I encourage you to read the original article first, as it's a good piece and I hope that my brief comments below add to the dialogue.

Screen Shot 2015-06-03 at 1.23.35 PM

My thoughts from Facebook:

What if she doesn't feel she needs to undress, but simply wants to? It's a complex (and personal) issue and so I feel a bit conflicted. The suggestion that...

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Happy Endings Lead to Bad Decisions

Uncategorized Jun 12, 2015

Humans are so strongly inclined toward happy endings that we often make poor decisions based on recent experiences while discounting earlier ones. Jess stopped by The Morning Show to discuss how these new research findings can be applied to dating and relationships. She also weighs in on the reasons why Millenials are opting to stay single for longer. 

From EurekAlert:

"The study, published today in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B, supports the idea that the 'banker's fallacy' - focusing on immediate growth at the expense of longer-term stability that would produce better results - is intuitive in the way many of us make quick decisions.

People's natural inclination towards a 'happy ending' means that we often ascribe greater value to experiences than they are worth, say researchers, meaning that we end up overvaluing experiences with a final uptick over those that taper at the last minute, despite being of equal or even lesser overall value, and making...

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Designer vaginas: Plastic surgery’s misogynistic new trend

Uncategorized Jun 02, 2015

By Arena Thomson

Women are undergoing below-the-belt cosmetic surgery at a growing rate in a quest for “perfect” genitalia. Labiaplasty consists of reducing the amount of tissue in either the labia majora or labia minora through surgery. Many women are turning to labiaplasty as an answer to their feelings of insecurity about their vulvas, some of whom have very little knowledge about the risks associated with the procedure.

This disturbing trend points to the larger issue of our patriarchal society’s tendency to police women’s bodies, and to instill unease in them over any divergence from the norm. Plastic surgeons who choose to perform labiaplasty often do nothing to assuage these women’s anxieties about their bodies, treating natural variations in vulvas as aberrations that can be “fixed”.

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In spite of a small number of labiaplasty surgeries executed to alleviate physical discomfort, the prevailing reason for this surgery is far more...

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Do the rich have better sex? Dr. Jess in Post City Magazines

Uncategorized May 28, 2015

Every month, Jess contributes to Post City Magazines, an independently owned Toronto-based publisher of seven magazines that are distributed monthly  in Toronto and the Greater Toronto Area. This month, she addresses the sticky subjects of sex and money.

Click on the image below to find out how often the average couple has sex and learn more about how their bank account plays a role in the bedroom. 

jess 3col june15

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