How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex

Uncategorized Apr 09, 2020

Make “The Talk" an ongoing conversation.

Though you probably have more on your plate than usual right now, there are still opportunities to talk about healthy relationships with your kids — especially if you're streaming shows or movies. Turning to pop culture is one of the best ways to start conversations about difficult topics, as it's de-personalized; you can talk about storylines, jokes, language, relationships, specific on-screen interactions & character behaviour without making it about you or your kid.

If a topic or scene arises that makes you uncomfortable, it’s probably a sign that it’s worth talking about. Obviously the way you speak to a 15 year old will be different than how you address it with a 5 year old, but don’t gloss over & hope for the best. Even a five year old can observe that language is hurtful or that an interaction makes them feel bad. When we model and give them permission to talk about how they feel and what they like...

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Sexuality Superheroes: Olive Von Topp

Uncategorized Apr 07, 2020

Meet this week's Sexuality Superhero, Olive Von Topp. Olive is a burlesque dancer, sexual educator and empowerment coach. Olive gives her clients the tools to strengthen their loving relationships, so they can move forward in their lives. She also uses her empowerment coaching values about self-confidence and 'owning your body', and executes them during her burlesque performances. Get to know Olive a little more by reading her feature below.

How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

Great question. It hasn’t exactly been a straight-line to get here. Like many people featured on this blog, I have always been fascinated by all things sexual. I had two older brothers and my mother always encouraged us to ask questions about sex if we had them, so I think I was exposed to some mature topics at an early age. I was always the one my friends came to with their questions about sex.

I even wanted to be a sex therapist (and still may go back to school for it at some...

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Responsible Dating During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Uncategorized Apr 01, 2020

Another week in self-isolation means it's time to get creative with your dating game. This week, Jess spoke to Carolyn and Jeff from Global TV's The Morning Show to discuss how we can date responsibility during the COVID-19 pandemic. Check out Jess' notes and video segment below!

Why has this time of social distancing proven to be such a popular time for dating apps?

Not only are we craving connection, but we also have more time on our hands, as we’re not commuting, socialising after work or hanging out with extended family. And we’re spending that extra time online.

Some dating apps are reporting increases in messaging between users and more time spent online.

Could the fact that people can’t meet in person actually be a benefit?

Being pushed out of our comfort zones and forced to communicate digitally can encourage us to learn new ways of communicating. Text alone eliminates the power of tone, body language and facial...

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Sexuality Superheroes: CoCo La Crème

Uncategorized Mar 24, 2020

This week's Sexuality Superhero is CoCo La Crème. Lorraine Hewitt is a sex educator, burlesque performer, foodie and a master of sewing! You can check out her workshops at Good for Her, and learn more by reading her feature below.

How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

Growing up, I received the standard public school sex education curriculum. It explained the mechanics of sex, but didn’t really speak to sexual enjoyment or sexual communication. Because of that, I was missing a lot of information about the things that make sex great. My lack of knowledge became more and more obvious to me, as I became sexually active. I felt uncomfortable and unsexy, because I didn’t have the slightest idea about how to talk about pleasure.

The desire for a better sex life is really what propelled me into the field. I worked around the corner from one of Toronto’s first progressive sex shops, and I started going there all the time to ask questions and check out...

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How to Cohabit Peacefully With Others During Your Self-Isolation

Uncategorized Mar 24, 2020

We took Global TV's The Morning Show from the Corus studio to our home studios today! This week, we chat about how to get along with the people close to you during self-isolation. Check out my notes and video segment below!

I’m with my kids 24/7 with no end in sight – how do I keep from going bananas?

First, talk to your kids about how you’re feeling. And ask them how they’re feeling. Take it slowly and really listen to what they have to say. This is a stressful time for everyone. It’s a time of transition, uncertainty, fear, financial stress and constant change. Change has been documented as a primary source of prolonged stress, so we’re all experiencing heightened stress levels at this time.

So prioritize acknowledging, validating and working through feelings over home schooling or productivity. There is, of course, value in learning and producing, but the pressure cooker is almost at its limit with the news and precariousness of the...

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How Can I Tell If I’ve Had an Orgasm?

Uncategorized Mar 18, 2020

I have a question based on a woman who doesn’t know if she is having an orgasm or not. She says she’s enjoying herself and claims that I’m “making her feel more than any other lover has ever made her feel before”, but she doesn’t know if she had an orgasm. So how can I really tell if she had an orgasm?

This is a great question!

Many women struggle to discern whether or not they’ve actually had orgasm because the experience is highly varied. In some of my workshops, I ask women to describe an orgasm in one word and their responses range from earth-shattering and f*&king intense to nice and relieving. Some orgasms provide ecstatic bliss and others simply lull you into a deep relaxation.

Thanks to the theatrical performances in mainstream porn, many of us think that an orgasm should be so mind-blowingly powerful that we don’t even realize that we’re jumping up and down like chimpanzees and...

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Sexuality Superheroes: Carlos Cavazos

Uncategorized Mar 10, 2020

Say hello to this week's Sexuality Superhero, Carlos Cavazos. Carlos is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Certified Sex Coach who has consulted people from around the world! Carlos also has a successful Youtube channel, preaching their advice about relationships, sex and fetishes. Check out Carlos' feature below and learn more!

How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

I sort of manifested it. When I was little, I used to be obsessed with "Talk Sex with Sue Johanson". I would stay up late and watch this lady with vagina pillows and penis puppets talk about all sorts of things that I found fascinating. I instantly knew I wanted to do that when I grew up. When it came time to start college I realized that there was no clear route to becoming a sexpert so I chose to major in psychology. During my intro to psych class, the professor had everyone in the auditorium introduce themselves and what they wanted to do career-wise. I mentioned I wanted to be a sex...

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How Can You Support Your Parents if They're Ready to Date Again?

Uncategorized Mar 03, 2020

What's the best advice you can give your parents (or other fellow baby boomers) if they're ready to get back into the dating pool again? Jess sits down with hosts Carolyn and Jeff on Global TV's The Morning Show to further discuss. Check out her notes and video segment below!

1. They’re launching a Bachelor-type show for seniors — what does this say about dating in 2020 and any predictions for how this might be different than the traditional show?

It’s a reminder that our desire for love, companionship and sex exists across the lifespan. I just hope they don’t make age a central feature of the show or use it at the butt of jokes as is often the case in Hollywood. And I hope they use this rare showcase of love, dating and sex among seniors to promote safer sex, because older adults can be at greater risk.

2. How is dating for boomers different than dating for millennials?

The desired outcomes may be different. There may be...

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Sexuality Superheroes: Lola Jean

Uncategorized Feb 25, 2020

Meet our next Sexuality Superhero, Lola Jean. Lola is a sex educator and podcaster, pro domme, wrestler and coach! She has learned so much from this industry and she's sharing her knowledge with the world! Read her feature below and learn more.

How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

I didn’t make an intentional decision to disappoint my parents every day, but man am I lucky I did. I was in between jobs during another phase of my own sexual exploration when I was in search of “a job I didn’t hate.” I began working with Kenneth Play in a more supportive role and didn’t have any intention of becoming an educator and events facilitator myself. However, when I saw the way people reacted to what I had to say, when I realized how my voice and stance felt underrepresented, and most of all how I knew much more than I thought I did. I like to challenge not only traditional ways of thinking and behaving, but the radical ones too. I feel...

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Dr. Jess on Making Time for Intimacy in Your Relationship

Uncategorized Feb 25, 2020

This morning on Global TV's The Morning Show, Jess sat down with Carolyn and Jeff to address viewer questions about the lack of intimacy in their relationships. Check out the video segment and her advice below to learn more!

My wife does so much. Takes care of the kids (we have a newborn), takes care of the house, etc.. But she’s never in the mood for sex. It has been months. I want to talk to her, but don’t want to make her feel badly, because she’s doing such a great job.

The fact that you acknowledge all that she does is so important and sets the tone for a healthy relationship and a potentially fruitful conversation about sex. Having said that, before we jump into the conversation, I want to offer a reminder to convey this appreciation directly to your wife. Oftentimes, couples who get along well deal with a gratitude gap: you feel grateful and you function so well as a team that you forget to thank your partner for all that they do to...

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