This morning on Global TV's The Morning Show, Jess shares a few hacks with Carolyn and Jeff about how we can feel less lonely during quarantine. She also discusses managing work and personal relationships in isolation. Check out her notes and video segment below.
1) I'm single and live alone, it's been 10 weeks and I'm still lonely. I have video chats with friends and family every day, I take my walk outside and even still I'm so lonely! Is there anything I can do or do I just have to wait this out until things go back to normal?
This is a common experience and I appreciate your speaking up. I think we need more dialogue about how our policies and many of the discussions around the distancing regulations don’t necessarily address the needs of the over 4 million Canadians (a number which has more than doubled in the last 35 years). Living alone is not only associated with higher risk of depression and anxiety, but when you’re alone...
We love solo sex for its many benefits:
Say hello to this week's Sexuality Superhero, Cameron Glover. Cameron is a business coach for sex educators, meaning she supports experts in the field, helping their businesses thrive. Get to know Cameron a little better, and read her feature below.
1. How did you find yourself working in sexuality?
I fell into the sexuality field almost by accident. I studied literature during undergrad and planned on teaching in academia. But once I graduated, I had to figure out what to do in the meantime. I started freelance writing and continued that for five years. Through freelancing, I got to research and look into so many different paths, and writing sexuality-focused stories got me curious about what it was like to go even further into this space. One Google search of "How do you become a sex educator?" later and I found myself researching certification programs.
Today, I'm a full-time certified sex educator, business coach, and founder of my own brand, Successful Sex Ed.
Our newest Sexuality Superhero is Dr. Hernando Chaves. Dr. Chaves is a licensed marriage and family therapist, based in Los Angeles. Dr. Chaves' focus is based on empathetic, sex-positive support with an emphasis on enhancing pleasure. Check out his feature below and learn more!
1. How did you find yourself working in sexuality?
I started off as a child therapist and started experiencing burnout. I looked for another niche and sex therapy stood out. I went back to school for a doctorate in human sexuality, changed my focus to sex therapy, started teaching human sexuality, and found where I belong. They say do what you love and find your passion and I did.
2. What is the best part of your job?
The best part of my job is helping people reduce sexual anxiety and bring pleasure into their world. Whether it's a student learning eye opening and life-changing aspects of their own sexuality or therapy clients experiencing changing growth with their sexual functioning, it's an honor...
The ongoing pandemic has had interesting effects on the intimate lives of Canadians. Not only have we seen sales of sex toys soar above and beyond their pre-pandemic levels, new research suggests that more Canadians are indulging in the use of SexTech for the first time ever.
SexTech refers to technology designed to enhance sexuality including everything from pornography to sex toys and vibrators to sexting — all of which have increased worldwide since February. In Canada alone, the sale of vibrators increased by 263% in March! We clearly have our pleasure priorities straight.
The benefits of SexTech are wide ranging and are not exclusively for single folks. Many advances in sex tech are enjoyed by couples to spice up their sexual lives in new and unique ways. Vibrators that can be controlled via an app from anywhere in the world, for example, enable partners to connect sexually despite being apart. And many people are discovering the benefits of sexting...
This week on Global TV's The Morning Show, Jess walked Carolyn and Jeff through a few exercises for couples to try during their quarantine. These exercises (both physical and verbal) are to help break the monotony, maintain a strong connection, and inject more excitement into the relationship. Check out her notes and video segment below.
1. The Heartbeat: Rest your head on your partner's chest to listen to their heartbeat. It’s so grounding to think that if that little muscle stops, that’s all she wrote. It’s a good way to start your day and it takes less than a minute.
2. The Gratitude Gap: Thank your partner for something you’ve come to expect and perhaps take for granted.
3. Love Note Hunt: Hide sweet or sexy notes throughout the house and let your partner stumble upon them naturally.
4. What I Miss (for co-workers who are separated): Make a list of 3 things you miss about your co-worker. This isn’t a time to flirt or be...
Given our current situation, what are your thoughts and feelings about Zoom calls? Could some calls just have been an email? Jess connects virtually with Carolyn and Jeff this morning from Global TV's The Morning Show to further discuss. Check out her notes and video segment below.
This week's Sexuality Superhero is Casey Carter. Casey is a fetish lifestyle expert, domme and erotic writer. Whether it's in a classroom, in a sex club, or at an erotic reading, Casey aims to spread her awareness and understanding about sex and relationships to all audiences. Read her feature below!
How did you find yourself working in sexuality?
I was on the verge of separating and getting divorced when I found myself meeting me/Casey for the first time. While she has always been there, I kept her at a distance. Once I embraced and released her, I started expressing myself through erotic writings. On rides to NYC from Stamford, CT, I fell in love with the idea of short stories - something that can be finished in the 50 -60 minute ride into the city or in the roundtrip. After a couple of years of developing characters and releasing my first set of stories, I started [email protected] on Periscope. It was how I could promote not just my stories, but the stories of other writers....
I was recently interviewed on the topic of how social distancing will affect your sex drive and I’m happy to share my thoughts below.
1. How will staying home affect our sex drives?
This is a time of stress, uncertainty and transition and our responses to distress will vary greatly from person to person and from day to day. If you find that sex helps you to self-soothe, you might find that your sex drive is working overtime and you can’t get enough. If, on the other hand, sex is a source of stress or you’re experiencing tension in the relationship, you may have no interest in sex whatsoever.
All responses are perfectly valid.
This may not be a time to perform or achieve. Many of us are so emotionally drained that we’re just struggling to get by, so don’t feel pressure to have the hottest sex of your life. Instead, focus on your own well-being and look for ways to maintain connections aside from sex (e.g. physical affection, thoughtful conversations,...
The current situation is stressful for everyone and it’s normal to be worried and anxious. I like this 5-4-3-2-1 grounding approach by The Real Depression Project and I share a few more strategies to manage anxiety below:
1. Accept that some anxiety is normal right now and can be functional in that it motivates us to take the appropriate steps to protect ourselves and others.
2. Be realistic about your risk and consume information from credible sources as opposed to FB friends who have been “googling for hours”.
3. Take a break from the news and data. Pick a few times daily to check in, but consider avoiding the video updates that seem to pop up every hour (unless there is an urgent reason why you need hourly updates).
4. In addition to scheduling your news updates, consider taking a daily digital detox to unplug completely.
5. Consider soothing the physical signs of anxiety first. You can’t immediately *think* anxiety away, but a few deep breaths...