When it comes to relationships, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. What works for you may not work for your sister, neighbours, parents or best friend. However, we have tendency to judge other people's relationships based on our own experiences, which are neither universally applicable nor rooted in science or expertise. So as as you review these three habits that are healthy for many couples, bear in mind that they may or may not work for you and your partner, so you need to deliberate, discuss and experiment with various approaches to find the right fit.
Without further ado, here are three relationship habits that are often labelled as toxic, but can be healthy in many relationships:
Some people believe that sharing account passwords is a sign that trust is lacking and others suggest that it will inevitably lead to checking up on each other. I believe the opposite is true: sharing your passwords to social media accounts demonstrates that you trust...
It’s Masturbation May and the questions about self-pleasure are flooding our inboxes. To learn more, listen to Jess’ interview with Sexologist Megan Stubbs — all about masturbation below.
And check out these recent questions and answers all about solo sex below:
What tips do you have for women who use or want to use their hands to masturbate?
Try these three techniques:
What safety guidelines should women follow if/when masturbating with their hands?
Masturbation is among the safest sex practices and studies suggest that those...
Life is grand!
But life is also very busy and in between conference calls, social calls, meetings, drinks with friends, children's activities and your day-to-day responsibilities, it's not uncommon for your relationship to fall to the bottom of your priority list. But it doesn't have to be this way! You can prioritize your intimate relationship within the context of a busy lifestyle by making small changes each and every day. Consider these four approaches (you can just pick one) to make your daily interactions more playful and romantic:
1. Take 60 seconds every day to make your partner feel important by performing a simple favour: make them a tea, slice some fruit, lay out their clothes, warm up their socks over the heating vent, throw their town in the dryer and greet them after their shower, clean their laptop screen, warm up their car, shine their shoes — the possibilities are endless! Small favours pack a huge punch in terms of maintaining the connection — think of...
I didn't wake up to watch the Royal Wedding this morning and the more I consider the power and role of the monarchy, the more concerned I grow about its role in social injustice. BUT I have received many questions this week about the supposed "disasters" faced by the bride-to-be and I'm happy to weigh in on the topic. Here are a few thoughts:
Your wedding day is a celebration of your love. The day itself is not a good foundation for a relationship, because it represents only a brief snapshot in time and in many cases, it becomes a performative event.
You need to stop planning your wedding and start planning your relationship. You need to stop worrying about your wedding and start working on your relationship. Considering divorce rates, infidelity rates and marital satisfaction rates that consistently decline over time, you have bigger things to worry about than a loud kid, a drunk relative or an imperfect food spread.
General advice for dealing with so-called...
There are many ways to seduce your partner and eroticize your relationship, but sometimes a few simple changes can do the trick. This list will definitely entice you to skip dinner and go straight to bed. Check it out!
Use lots of lube and feather-light touch! Your dextrous fingers will feel just like a tongue if you slather them in lube and stroke with barely-there pressure. If you have trouble controlling yourself, use only the backs of your fingers. Since you have ten fingers, you can simulate “licking” with more than one tongue at once all over your lover’s hottest parts to rile them into a frenzy! My favourite is Astroglide’s Ultra Gentle Gel which is perfect for stroking, licking, teasing and grinding alike.
Take out the We-Vibe Pivot for a test-drive. This powerhouse vibrating ring is unlike any other I’ve ever tried. Its texture is silky soft and you can adjust it to vibe against various hot spots according to your preference.
Apparently, Tristan Thompson has been caught cheating on Khloe Kardashian once again. And your immediate response may be “who cares?”, but regardless of whether or not you keep up with the Kardashian’s (I’ve never seen an episode), there is some insight to be gained from considering and discussing celebrity relationship headlines.
For example, you might use Tristan and Khloe’s story as an impetus to start a conversation about how you define monogamy in your relationship. Or you might use it as an opportunity to discuss your own insecurities with your partner. We’re all insecure — some of us are simply brave enough to face our insecurities head-on. (Listen to Brandon and I discuss our relationship insecurities in this podcast.)
But back to Tristan and Khloe…
Masturbation is good for your sex life whether you're single or coupled. It’s the prime opportunity to learn about your own body without the pressure to perform or meet another person’s needs. And once you know what you like in bed, you can train a partner (or two or three!) to be a part of the process.
Treat self-pleasure as you would with partnered sex and experiment. We tend to masturbate using the same technique, in the same location and in the same position over and over again; changing things up can help you to discover new likes and dislikes. Try a new position, a new toy or a new approach to see if you learn something surprising about your body’s unique sexual response.
Pay attention to your breath. Are you holding it? Experiment with a range of breathing patterns (e.g. short and shallow, deep and slow) to see how your sexual response changes.
Let your sounds emanate freely. Don’t hold back. When we watch porn, we often see and hear...
Expressing how you feel to make your lover feel important does not have to involve grand gestures. In fact, sometimes it is the little things (and the practical ones) that make the biggest impressions and keep the spark alive. Make a habit of performing simple favours that take less than a minute on a regular basis using this list as inspiration:
In a world consumed by exaggerated notions of beauty, sexual self-esteem is often associated with physical appearance and learning a few signature moves. But being confident in bed isn’t about looking good naked or twisting two-thirds to the left at a medium pace. Sexual confidence is about feeling comfortable with yourself, so take a look at these strategies to feel better from the inside-out:
Accept that you have lots to learn. We all do!
Nothing holds us back in the sack more than the erroneous belief that we’re natural born lovers. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Since each person has a unique set of wants, needs, and limitations, every new lover presents a fresh course in sex.
If you sometimes wonder what to do to seduce your lover, rev their engine or keep them coming, you’re perfectly normal. Don’t be discouraged if you feel you have lots to learn. As a sexologist, I’ve spent the last eighteen years studying sex and I’ve only...
A rich body of research suggests that marriage is good for your health and your pocketbook. But what if you’re in an unhappy relationship? What are the health effects of tension and marital discord? Jess joined Jeff on The Morning Show to discuss a range of studies related to marriage and health. Watch the video and read the summary below.
1. We’ve heard that marriage is good for your health - is this still true?
2. But what about if you’re in an unhappy relationship?
It’s not marriage alone that offers potential health benefits; the quality of the relationship matters: