Can Dating Apps Affect Your Mental Health?

Uncategorized Sep 20, 2018

According to researchers at the University of North Texas, those who use the dating app Tinder report lower levels self-esteem and body image than those who don’t use the app.

Jess joined Jeff and Carolyn to discuss the effects of dating on your self-image and emotional health on The Morning Show. Check out the video and notes below:

1. What did these Tinder researchers find?

This study included 1,044 women and 273 men - mostly undergraduate students. Only ten percent used the app, so the data about lower self-esteem and body image is comparing about 100 women and 27 men who use the app to approximately 900 women and 250 men who do not. This is a relatively small sample size, but the findings suggest that:

a. Men who use Tinder report lower self-esteem.

b. Women and men who use Tinder report higher levels of "body dissatisfaction, body shame, body monitoring, internalization of societal expectations of beauty, comparing oneself physically to others, and reliance on media for...

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Should You Have A One-Night Stand?

Uncategorized Sep 13, 2018

That depends. Do you want to?

Research suggests that around half of Canadians have engaged in a one-night stand while the other half has not. So there you go. You’re normal either way. You should never feel pressured to do something because you think everyone else is doing it or you feel the need to check off that box on this month’s sexuality survey. Trust me, you’re not a “prude” just because some magazine sells ad space by dichotomizing women into virgins and whores. You can be as intensely sexually empowered when you’re abstinent as you are when you’re hooking up with new partners on the regular. Only you can determine what is empowering for you -- sure experts like me might be able to help along the way, but ultimately, you are the greatest expert in yourself. So take some time to think about what you want and why you want it -- and now let’s get back to one-night stands...

A one-night stand is supposed to be a casual hook-up...

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How to Deal With Jealousy

Uncategorized Sep 05, 2018

This morning, Jess joined Carolyn and Jeff on Global TV's The Morning Show to discuss the latest research regarding jealousy in relationships. Check out the notes and video clip below.

1. How do you deal with a jealous partner?

You support them and give them permission to feel jealous bearing in mind that their jealousy isn’t about you. Be sure not to use their jealousy as a weapon. Acknowledge how they’re feeling and ask how you can help or provide reassurance. As a partner, you want to offer reassurance because we often feel jealous when we feel something we value (e.g. a loving relationship) is threatened.

Research shows that those who respond to jealousy by offering reassurance of their interest have more stable relationships.

You can’t eradicate jealousy. It’s a normal, universal emotion and you can learn a good deal about yourself and your relationship from jealous feelings. Normative or functional jealousy, for example, can help you to identify...

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Sex Quirks We All Share (Even If We Won't Admit It)

Uncategorized Aug 29, 2018

Sexual quirks are more common than you think. Which ones will you admit to?

Let’s face it. We’re all a little quirky. And when it comes to sex, we each have our own set of idiosyncrasies that we’re sometimes afraid to admit to. But the experts will assure you that as awkward or weird as your sexual quirks may seem, they’re probably more common than you think.

Which of these sexual quirks will you admit to?

Humping Furniture

You’ve likely heard that most women (two-thirds of us) don’t orgasm through intercourse alone, but you may be surprised to learn that many do so with a little help from the kitchen table. Humping furniture is actually quite common since so many women reach orgasm through rubbing against firm surfaces.

Many of my clients learn to orgasm by grinding up against the edges of their dining room tables or climbing atop the plush arm of their La-Z Boy chairs. I even encourage them to do so. It may not be the sexiest image imaginable,...

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The Dos & Don'ts of 'Picking Up'

Uncategorized Aug 24, 2018

This morning on Global TV's The Morning Show, Jess sat down with Jeff McArthur and Vicky Sparks to discuss the dos and don'ts of approaching someone in public. When is it appropriate to talk to a potential partner out in the open? Check out the video and her advice for different scenarios below.

1. At a bar or coffee shop

  • Do offer to buy a drink and reciprocate if you’re on the receiving end. BUT do not bring the drink in-hand. Make the offer and let the barista or bartender hand them the drink.
  • Do approach with friends. When one person from a group walks over and if feels as though all of your friends are watching the interaction, it can feel awkward. If they’re with friends, bring some of yours along for the initial introduction, so you can all engage in friendly conversation.
  • Don’t approach them if they’re on the phone or on their computer. People complain that technology detracts from social interaction, but if you go back 20 years, no one was even...
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Sexual Harassment at the Gym

Uncategorized Aug 07, 2018

Today Jess joined Carolyn Mackenzie and Vicky Sparks on Global TV’s The Morning Show to talk about a survey conducted by ExerciseBike.net. They polled 1000 gym-goers who shared their experiences with harassment. Some of their findings included:

  • After being harassed, 3 in 4 women said they changed what they wore to workout.
  • Almost 50% say they've stopped doing certain exercises, and more than 1 in 3 either changed gyms or stopped going entirely.
  • 44% of women did nothing in response to the harassment.
  • Nearly 80% of women would consider an all-female gym to prevent sexual harassment.

The gym is a breeding ground for harassment, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Some guidelines that might make women feel more safe and welcome while working on their fitness:

1. Pay attention to non-verbal cues. For example, if someone is wearing headphones, don’t interrupt them or ask them to remove them. Friendly conversation is grand, but some people don’t want to chat...

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Erogenous Zones You May Have Overlooked

Uncategorized Aug 03, 2018

If you’re looking for a quickie in the closet over the lunch hour, your go-to hot spots and techniques are probably your best bet. If, however, you want to prolong the pleasure and promote full-body orgasms that make you weak in the knees for days, it’s time to slow down and explore unchartered territory. Try teasing and tantalizing these surprising hot spots with your tongue, lips, breath and fingertips and allow the waves of delight to radiate throughout the entire body. Start with slow, feather-light touch and then increase the speed and pressure as the arousal builds.

Suprasternal Notch

This hot spot is located at the base of the neck at the centre of the collarbone. Not only is this tender notch sex to look at, but it can be hypersensitive to touch. Kiss your way from the outer collarbones (also considered an erogenous zone for people with vaginas) and breathe some gentle warm air over this indentation before twirling your tongue slowly around its...

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Dating Questions Answered

Uncategorized Jul 25, 2018

The Morning Show viewers have dating questions and we’ve got answers. Jess joined Carolyn and Jeff this morning to weigh in on a few of their viewers’ dating dilemmas.

If we’ve been chatting a few weeks and he hasn’t asked to meet in person, is he really interested in a relationship?

He’s interested in chatting, but perhaps that’s it. You’ll never know unless you ask, so give a specific timeline with a request to meet. “Let’s set a time to meet in the next week.” If he’s not open to meeting in the next week or two (and he doesn’t have a good reason like he lives in Georgia), it’s unlikely he’s as interested in an in-person relationship as you are. This, of course, applies regardless of gender.

It’s not uncommon for people to chat on apps for weeks and even months prior to meeting and one study found that the longer you wait, the more likely the first date will be disappointing. But it’s...

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What To Expect With Ontario's Older Sex Education Curriculum

Uncategorized Jul 16, 2018

Jess visited Global TV's The Morning Show to discuss what we can expect in September with Ontario's previous sex education curriculum. Check out her notes, video clip, and a few additional segments below.

1. What are the differences between the current curriculum and the one from 1998/9?

I see three primary areas of difference between the 1998 and 2015: inclusivity, specificity & the inclusion of new technologies and related safety & relationship issues.

The updated curriculum is more inclusive of LGBTQ experiences and reflects the diversity of students, parents, and teachers.

The updated curriculum is more specific with regard to examples and teacher prompts.

And the updated curriculum addresses issues that didn’t exist in 1998 like cyberbullying, sexting, online porn and other forms of digital communication.

2. What are the implications of reverting to the 1998/9 curriculum?

A twenty-year rollback affects several areas of the curriculum and accordingly, student...

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How to Initiate Tough Conversations

Uncategorized Jul 10, 2018

Whether you want to address an issue related to money, childrearing, in-laws, chores or sex, the toughest conversations are almost always the most important. And if you approach them effectively, they can also be the most fruitful and positive. However, most of us struggle to turn difficult conversations into positive interactions, because we’re often overcome by emotion and not prepared with our own expectations of outcomes.

Jess joined Liem and Carolyn to share her strategies for addressing difficult topics earlier today on The Morning Show. Check out the summary and video below.

Why do little annoyances or simple requests often snowball into bigger arguments?

Most of us wait until we’re frustrated to speak up, which is why our communication is often framed as a series of *complaints* and/or *criticisms* to which our partners respond with defensiveness and/or aggression. If you speak up before you become frustrated or resentful, you’ll find that the results of...

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