If you’ve fallen for someone after only a few dates and they don’t feel the same way about you, you’re likely feeling hurt, unworthy and in limbo. The pain of unrequited love can feel unbearable even if you’ve only known them for a short period of time.
And while friends and family will gather around to support you through a relationship breakup, they may not be as sympathetic and enthusiastic if you’ve only been on a handful of dates. It follows that you may feel alone and lack the support you need to take care of yourself, remove and move on.
But fear not. I’ve got your back! You will feel better over time and I outline a few perspectives and strategies to help you move on below.
#1. Please rest assured that it’s normal to think about someone you dated for a brief time — especially if you don’t know them well, as we have a tendency to idealize the unknown. You’re normal.
When you first meet a new love interest, you tend...
Holidays are often the times when all of our grievances with family members come to light. We're crammed into other's homes, or overwhelmed by the stress of hosting. Make this the year that you come out unscathed, with Jess’ advice from The Marilyn Denis Show.
When you can't agree on the logistics of the season
"Every year around the holidays, my wife and I fight. We fight about the kids (we each have two from previous marriages), how much money to spend, where to spend Xmas eve and everything in between. She’s just always so stressed out (she hosts the big Xmas dinner) that it sets me off. How can we plan to have a more harmonious holiday season?"
Planning is everything when it comes to the holidays. Start as far out as possible — as soon as the first decorations appear at your local department store. Put your plans in writing — on a calendar on your fridge, for example. A hard calendar is better than a digital planner in your phone, because the digital...
The holidays are quickly approaching, which means your calendar will soon be filled with holiday-themed work/personal party commitments. Jess sat down with Jeff and Carolyn this morning to address more viewer questions based around holiday work parties. Read her expanded notes and watch her appearance on Global TV's The Morning Show below.
I just started dating this guy and we really hit it off but it’s only been a couple of months. Is it too early to bring him to a work holiday party as my plus one? There’s also a lot of family functions coming up, when should I introduce him to my family?
I don’t believe in timelines with the exception of what works for you. If your company is generous enough to offer a plus one for their holiday party and you’d enjoy his company at the party, invite him along. If you’re having difficulty assessing whether or not it’s a good idea, ask yourself the following questions:
1. Are other people bringing...
Jess and Brandon interview one another in an attempt to better understand their own relationship. They talk about their initial attraction and what they want to work on in their relationship. This is part one of the “Lover’s Interview”.
This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.
One of the best parts of my job involves facilitating workshops on relationships, communication, and sex — both online and in-person. I swear I do more learning than teaching and I love receiving feedback from participants — especially when they report that an activity or course positively affects their self-esteem and/or relationships.
One of the most popular in-session activities for couples involves The Partner Interview, which almost always receives rave reviews.
This exercise involves a very simple set of questions that you take turn answering with your lover. Here are...
Relationships come in all sorts of arrangements and the way you relate to your family members may mirror and affect the way you relate to intimate partners. Today, on The Morning Show, Jess addressed viewer questions related to family relationships. Check out the video and summary below.
Charles from Calgary asks…
My brother is so jealous of everything I do and I’m sick of it. He blames me for his situation and is never happy for my successes. Lately, he has even been taking my stories and accomplishments and making it out like they’re his own. Imitation is not the greatest form of flattery IMHO. How can I get through to him?
When a sibling or family member is jealous, it can get irritating, but I want you to consider that your irritation pales in comparison to the way he’s feeling. It’s possible that he’s feeling insecure, unworthy and worried that he doesn’t measure up. Those feelings are much harder to manage than irritation, so can you...
Jess is coming home to Toronto this weekend for the Everything To Do With Sex Show at the International Centre. She’ll be on stage with her favourites from We-Vibe Friday-Sunday talking about a range of topics including how mindfulness can help to improve relationships. She joined Carolyn and Mike this morning to discuss Mindful Sex and more and we’ve shared the show summary and video below:
1. What does it mean to be mindful?
Mindfulness is a bit of a buzzword, but it ultimately means being present and mindful of where you’re at any particular moment.
We tend to move through life distracted by our phones, by advertising, by what we need to do in an hour and by self-consciousness and all of this mindlessness detracts from human connection and fulfilling relationships.
It’s important to note that mindfulness draws from eastern philosophies including Hinduism and Buddhism and though in the west, it’s often framed as a secular (even performative)...
Sex feels so darn good! And it’s also associated a wide range of health benefits leaving you feeling and looking your best. But even if you practice safer sex, you may want to be mindful of some of the common (and not so common) injuries that remind us that sometimes love really is a battlefield.
Believe it or not, McSteamy and Grey’s Anatomy weren’t exaggerating. You can break a penis -- as long as it is hard at the time. While even the toughest boner contains no actual bones, the penis does contain tubes that fill with blood during an erection. It is the lining of these tubes, the tunica albuginea, that can rupture in response to heavy trauma or bending. This may happen during intercourse when the penis is severely bent or is thrust into the pelvic bone or another hard surface.
One client described his experience with penile rupture:
“She climbed on top. While thrusting her hips back in forth against my rhythm she decided to lean back...
We love that you’re sending in questions for the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast and we’re doing our best to get to all of them.
And earlier today on The Morning Show, Jess tackled a few other relationship questions related to exes and healthy fighting. Check out the video and notes below.
Eileen from North Bay asks: I was dating a wonderful guy for about 4 months and he recently broke it off to suddenly go back to his ex of four years. While we were together, he was still in touch with her, but just as friends and he said that the relationship, while they were dating, was pretty toxic. It sounded to me like she treated him really badly and was even verbally abusive of him.
His friends say I’m better for him and want us to get back together. My question is should I wait for him or reach out to see if he wants to get back together?
It sounds as though he has a long...
Halloween is just around the corner and people of all ages are gearing up for an evening of tricks, treats and the opportunity to dress up and play a role if only for one night. As I was scrolling through a few websites in search of the perfect ensemble, I was reminded that while costumes designed for men tend to be pop-culture and occupation-based, costumes targeted at women lean almost exclusive toward the sexy. Even those that are occupationally-related offer sexy versions: sexy nurse, sexy teacher, sexy firefighter, sexy maid, sexy cat, sexy horse (for real!) and sexy police officer are just a few examples I found on the first page.
I love that Halloween offers an opportunity to dress up and be sexy, but I do wish the gender bias wasn't so prominent and that there were a wider range of choices in terms of commercially-available costumes. If you want to wear something sexy, go for it! But if you don’t, that’s fine too. And don’t feel you have to stick to...
After a breakup, we often turn to our friends to support, but new research suggests that our breakups can adversely affect friendships as well. Jess sat down with Jeff and Liem to discuss these findings today on The Morning Show.
1. What did this study find?
Researchers examined 370 posts from online forum discussions related to relationships and divorce to assess the way breakups affect friendships. They found that our friends may be less supportive than we need/expect after a breakup; this may be related to the fact that we don’t maintain friendships when we’re in a relationship, but expect our friends to step up and offer support when we’re in need.
2. How does being in a relationship affect your friendships and vice versa?
Some research suggests that your friend circle shrinks when you couple up; one study found that we lose two friends when we meet a new partner.
Maintaining social ties with friends and family is good for you as an individual and good...