How to Make Friends as an Adult

Uncategorized Mar 28, 2019

We all know that a happy relationship with your partner can affect your health, happiness and even your pocketbook, but friends also play an important role in life satisfaction and overall well-being.

Jess co-hosted with expert nutritionist, Kyle Buchanan, on Global TV's The Morning Show with Carolyn MacKenzie. They discussed friendships and strategies for making friends in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond.

Check out the videos and summary below.

With online relationships and communication, do we have as many in-person friend as we used to?

Research suggests that we lose friends as we get older and one in five of us feels lonely.

Why is having friends so important?

Not only do the happiest and healthiest people have the strongest social ties, but happiness among friends is contagious.  A Harvard Medical School study of 5,000 people suggests that one person’s happiness spreads through their social group even up to three degrees of separation with the...

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How to Support a Friend Who is Dealing With Intimate Partner Violence

Uncategorized Mar 27, 2019

The World Health Organization defines Intimate Partner Violence as follows:

“Any behaviour within an intimate relationship that causes physical, psychological or sexual harm to those in the relationship. Examples of types of behaviour are listed below. Acts of physical violence, such as slapping, hitting, kicking and beating. Sexual violence, including forced sexual intercourse and other forms of sexual coercion. Emotional (psychological) abuse, such as insults, belittling, constant humiliation, intimidation (e.g. destroying things), threats of harm, threats to take away children. Controlling behaviours, including isolating a person from family and friends; monitoring their movements; and restricting access to financial resources, employment, education or medical care.”

Intimate partner violence (IPV) may include physical violence, sexual coercion, emotional abuse and controlling behaviour. Each of these factors has been shown to adversely affect the abused...

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Cheating - How One Couple 'Affair-Proofs' Their Relationship

Uncategorized Mar 25, 2019

We’ve all seen that couple eating their dinner in silence at a restaurant. Uptowners Emi and Jim were petrified that this would be their future. After eight years of marriage, they’ve honed their communication skills when it comes to expressing their needs and resolving conflict, but they’ve developed some very bad habits with regard to their daily conversations.

“It feels like we’re running a business instead of a family,” says Emi. “I’m afraid if you take away work, the kids and the in-laws, we’d have nothing left to talk about and really grow apart.”

This is a valid concern. Though no conversation on its own will ruin a relationship, reducing your communication to practical discussions alone is sure to detract from the passion, intimacy and eroticism most couples crave.

 

To keep the passion alive, talk about your big dreams, greatest fears, philosophical quandaries and topics that get you all fired up. And make an...

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How to Prepare for Your First Orgy or Sex Party

Uncategorized Mar 20, 2019

As a sexologist, I’ve attended my share of sex parties, sex clubs, sex resorts and orgies — it’s all in a day’s work! And I’ve learned so much from attending these events, as seeing real live sex in-the-flesh is a life-changer.

Observing real people engage in genuine connections — physical and emotional — changed the way I felt about sex, my body, pleasure and even aging.

I feel more confident in my skin having seen people of all ages and body types enjoying unfiltered pleasure.

I feel more comfortable with my body’s natural responses (and sometimes non-response), as I’ve seen that a very wide variety of acts and approaches can produce pleasure.

And I feel excited to continue to age, as I’ve spoken to hundreds of couples in their sixties and seventies who continue to experience meaningful connection and intense pleasure.

I was recently interviewed about orgies and sex parties and have included the notes from this interview...

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Sexuality Superheroes: Ashley Cobb

Uncategorized Mar 18, 2019

This week's Sexuality Superhero is Ashley Cobb! Ashley conducts workshops and counselling sessions with women, ridding  them of their negative tendencies, while communicating how they can feel more comfortable in their own skin. Read her feature below!

How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

I have always wanted to work in the public health field. I went back to college to obtain a Health Promotions degree in the hopes of working with the HIV/AIDS crisis. However due to the fact that I was unable to find employment once I graduated I decided to create my own lane. Sex With Ashley first started out as a blog then eventually grew to what you see today.

Mindful Sex Banner - Vertical (1)

What is the best part of the job?

The best part of my job is getting to help women to explore different aspects of their sexuality.

What is your most important piece of advice that has the potential to revolutionize relationships?

Communication is key! Communicate, communicate, communicate. Talk about...

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5 Ways Sex Benefits Your Health!

Uncategorized Mar 13, 2019

Do you need one more reason to love S-E-X? Yeah. Me neither. But with our hectic social lives, demanding jobs and sometimes challenging families, sex often falls by the wayside. After all, loving sex and wanting sex enough to actually do something about it don’t always go hand in hand.

So if you’re looking for a few good reasons to make sex a priority, check out these surprising health benefits associated with sexual activity:

Sex may be anti-aging. Increased levels of oxytocin do more than turn your partner into an unresponsive snore-demon after a hot and heavy love-making session. This hormone also helps to calm the nerves, reduce stress and promote restful sleep -- each of these benefits is associated with higher energy levels, improved memory, elevated mood and longevity. May we live long, love longer and prosper! That’s how the saying goes, right?

via GIPHY

Sex can relieve pain. The hormonal changes in the body that accompany arousal and orgasm result in...

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4 Ways To Have Happier Relationships

Uncategorized Mar 12, 2019

This morning, Jess joined Jeff and Carolyn on The Morning Show to play a mini game show focused on relationships. Check out the notes and video below.

Questions:

1. Using this word or phrase can predict a happier relationship for couples:

a. Please

b. We instead of I

c. You’re right.

d. Are you in the mood?

2. Sharing personal info on social media can detract from relationships happiness unless you do this:

a. Overshare

b. Include your partner in your posts

c. Limit your audience

d. Use words/text as opposed to pics

3. Sharing personal info with co-workers can be good for workplace relationships when you share:

a. Obvious/visible information

b. Childhood memories

c. Invisible stigmas

d. Funny stories and anecdotes

4. The key to finding a good partner involves finding...

a. A matching personality

b. Someone like your mother/father

c. Someone with different personality traits

d. Someone kind & conscientious

via GIPHY

Answers: 

1. The answer is B: We instead...

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What Sex Positivity Means To Me

Uncategorized Mar 06, 2019

Jess was recently interviewed about her understanding and definition of sex-positivity. Check out her thoughts below and please add yours in the comments -- we know we can't possibly have covered every angle and we can all learn from the mind-hive.

1) What is sex-positivity?

Sex positivity involves an attitude and approach to sex that minimizes moral judgments and honours personal agency and preferences.

There are certainly differing definitions of sex-positivity. For example, some people claim to be sex positive, but their definition of moral sex is narrow — they may not sex workers and trans rights. In my opinion, this is not sex positivity — it’s selective sexual freedom.

My understanding of sex positivity includes respect, support and celebration of everything from abstinence to consensual non-monogamy and everything on the edges and in between. There are of course intersectional issues to consider when it comes to sexual agency —...

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Sexuality Superheroes: Eliza Boquin

Uncategorized Mar 04, 2019

It’s that time of the week again! This week, our Sexuality Superhero is: Eliza Boquin. Eliza is a marriage and family therapist based in Houston, Texas. She combines the practice of traditional therapy with ancient energy healing, delivering effect results and happy clients. Check out her feature below.

How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

During internship, I found that supporting women who were healing from sexual abuse was challenging, but also really rewarding.  Helping them heal from trauma & shame was powerful!  I was also working with couples who were often struggling to connect sexually.  Grad school hadn’t prepared me to help support these challenges and I felt lost when working with them. I wanted to feel more competent, so I opted for sex therapy training at the University of Michigan.

What is the best part of the job?

I get to talk about sex all day! Ha! I’m only partially kidding.

Truly, helping people...

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When it Comes to Working Relationships, How Close is Too Close?

Uncategorized Mar 04, 2019

Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga performed at the Academy Awards on Sunday night and gossip about their relationship is spreading like wildfire. From Tweeters to other celebrities, folks are insisting that they must be more than friends on account of their chemistry on stage. Jess joined Jeff and Carolyn on Global TV's The Morning Show to discuss. See her segment notes below.

Why are people insisting that they must be sleeping together?

First, let’s remember that they’re actors; they’re acting at an award show that celebrates the best acting in the business. That’s their job and apparently they’re very good at it.

Children can differentiate between make believe and reality when they watch Spiderman scale walls and Vin Diesel tear through the streets like a race car driver. Adults should be able to differentiate between fantasy and reality too — whether they’re watching the oscars or watching porn.

Perhaps people want to believe that Gaga...

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