3 Dating Red Flags

Uncategorized Sep 09, 2019

Are you single and dating? If so, you may be scrolling, swiping and meeting up with new folks daily and with so many options, it can be difficult to decide whether to not someone is a good fit for you.

@SexWithDrJess Podcast listener recently asked me if there are any red flags to look out for early on in the dating relationship, so I’m sharing a few with you below.

If you have sex, dating and relationship questions, submit them here. We love to hear from you!

They express a desire to have you all to themselves. Is your new partner is critical of your friends and family? Do they suggest that you don’t need them or try to isolate you from your social circle? They may suggest that they love you so much that they’re trying to protect you. And they might assure you that you’re simply too good of your friends and family. This attempt to isolate you and make your new relationship the centre of your life may be a red flag that their controlling...

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How to Boost Intimacy During Sex

Uncategorized Sep 03, 2019

Intimacy means different things to different people. For some, sexual intimacy involves feeling loved and close to their partner. To others, intimacy involves an experience of spiritual or euphoric connection. For kinky folks, intimate sex might involve injecting elements of emotional or physical vulnerability.

However you define intimacy, consider these approaches to enhance your intimate connection with your lover.

Make eye contact. Research suggests that eye contact with a loved one results in a spike in oxytocin — the hormone that spikes right before orgasm and is associated with bonding. Eye contact during sex can intensify the connection, but it is not uncommon for people to avoid face-to-face positions on account of self-consciousness, discomfort or embarrassment. To ease yourselves into full eye-contact during sex play, start with the lights low or take turns wearing a blindfold as you become more comfortable with your natural facial expressions in response...

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Four Ways To Connect With Your Lover This Weekend

Uncategorized Aug 23, 2019

The weekend is upon us and if you don’t mindfully carve out quality time with your partner, you may find that you only spend time together as roommates or co-parents.  Just as you have to plan and dedicate time to fitness, health and business, you need to specifically schedule time to be together as a couple. The beginning of the weekend is a great time to create a ritual that remind you both that you’re intimately connected — you don’t just live together, but you share an intimate bond that is worth nurturing. 

Here are a few options for jump-starting your connection today:

1. Eliminate technoference. Put your phones in a box and place them in the car, a cupboard or in the basement. The mere presence of a cell phone (even if it’s in your pocket) detracts from connection, trust and collaboration, so invest in quality time with your partner at least once a week. You’ll naturally practice being present and mindful without...

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How to Move on From a Cheater

Uncategorized Jun 08, 2017

If your ex cheated, diving back into the world of dating can be intimidating. But being cheated on doesn’t mean the end of romance, intimacy and happy relationships — in fact, it’s just the beginning. If your ex cheated, you can still find love, fulfilment and commitment - and you deserve it all.

Consider these strategies for moving onward and upward:

via GIPHY

Do not accept responsibility for a cheater. Know that it’s not you — it’s them. Your ex cheated because they chose to cheat. You were not the “cause” of their cheating, so there is no reason to assume that your next partner will cheat too.

Date outside of your comfort zone. Do you have a certain “type” to which that you tend to be attracted? Try getting to know different types of people and hang out in different venues to see if your attraction is broader than you realized. You might attract someone with whom trust arises...

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5 Toys To Revolutionize Your Sex Life! Part 2

Uncategorized Jun 07, 2017

Continued from Part 1 here...

3. Astroglide Sensitive Skin Gel
You know how much I love lube! Sex is simply hotter with the addition of this sexy, slippery stuff and if you have reactive skin, b1f1521c-83b1-40a2-b40a-e63b6e824197_1.30fe008a7dfacff35e9df874571c34eeAstroglide’s Sensitive Skin Gel may be just what the doctor ordered.

Try these sexy ways to apply lube to your lover:

  • Apply to your palm and then squeeze your hand in a fist allowing the lube to drip sensually over their most sensitive spots.
  • Blindfold them and use a soft-bristled makeup brush to create a sensational experience.
  • Roll a few drops over your lips and use your mouth as your applicator.
  • Apply with your fingertips and then breathe warm air over the wet spots.

4. Ben Wa Balls
These nifty devices have seen a resurgence of popularity since the release of the Fifty Shades trilogy and I really love the Scarlet Couture Glass Duo Balls.
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You can use them to perform Kegel exercises as prescribed by your pelvic floor physiotherapist and they can be used for enhancing...

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5 Toys To Revolutionize Your Sex Life! Part 1

Uncategorized Jun 07, 2017

When I first started working in the field of human sexuality, most of the toys on offer came in the form of exaggerated phalluses and animal-inspired vibes made of jelly. Fast forward to today and I’m thrilled to report that the adult toy industry has come along way. The variety and quality of products has vastly improved and many companies are investing heavily in research and development to ensure that their toys reflect the needs of their customers.

As a sexologist, I’m often asked to review toy prototypes and provide feedback (it’s a tough job, but somebody has got to to it!) and the companies I’ve worked with have been highly responsive to constructive criticism. From tech-enabled couples’ toys to products that focus as much on health as pleasure, it’s an exciting time in the adult industry.

There are thousands of toys, props and accoutrements on the market, but these are five that have revolutionized my sex life and those of my very happy...

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Is Your Friend Marrying the Wrong Person?

Uncategorized Jun 06, 2017
What should you do if you think your friend is about to marry the wrong person? Should you speak up or forever hold your peace? I weigh in on this sensitive subject with Jeff McArthur on Global TV's The Morning Show. Check out my advice and the video below!

 
1. Should you tell a friend they’re marrying the wrong person?
In most cases, you should keep your mouth shut, but it depends on a few factors:

  • Are they wrong for your friend or wrong for you? Do you dislike the way their partner has impacted your friendship with this friend or are you genuinely concerned for your friend’s happiness?
  • Are you really a good judge of whether or not someone is right or wrong for somebody else. I’m a so-called relationship expert (I read dozens of new studies each week and engage with thousands of couples each year) and I’m not even comfortable making that kind of call in most cases.

2. Are there any cases when you should speak up? 

  • If there is abuse. If...
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Love and Affection in Elle Brazil's Latest Cover

Uncategorized Jun 05, 2017

By Alison Minor

Earlier this week, Elle Brazil celebrated their 29th anniversary and the LBGTQ community in a beautifully commendatory fashion. They featured a same-sex couple on their highly anticipated, glossy annual issue of the magazine. The cover is irrefutably beautiful and was met with an inspiringly positive response all around.

For the current sexual and political landscape of Brazil, this cover matters a lot. Members of the LBGTQ community in Brazil have been subject to fatal hate crimes, most of which did not involve any form of robbery. In the past four years, Brazil has lost nearly 1,600 beautiful gay, lesbian, and transgender souls to mindless and hate-fueled violence. This number is most likely higher, due to police’s preference to omit details of victims’ sexual orientation because of the strong taboo that surrounds the subject.

The issue’s theme was affection, and we applaud Elle Brazil, and all those who bravely stand for inclusivity and...

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Bromance Benefits

Uncategorized May 30, 2017

I joined Jeff McArthur this morning on Global TV's The Morning Show to discuss the benefits of bromances. Read my thoughts below and don't forget to watch the video!

What is a bromance?

According to a recent study that looked at undergraduate students, a bromance is a close non-sexual friendship marked by intimacy, love and openness. It’s a relationship that is free from judgment and ultimately one that defies cultural prescriptions of masculinity that preclude men from being vulnerable and sharing intimate details of their life.

Are they becoming more common?

Yes! And it’s a good thing. We see that men who acknowledge having had a bromance acknowledge the many benefits:

  • The opportunity to divulge vulnerabilities without social ridicule.
  • Increased social support (which is positively correlated with more positive physical and mental health outcomes & longevity).
  • Feelings of brotherhood and family-like ties.
  • Opportunities to discuss topics that were previously...
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Why did Melania Slap Trump’s Hand Away?

Uncategorized May 30, 2017

Everyday, President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump are objectified under the media's microscope. So when an act of PDA is rejected, we immediately jump to conclusions about their relationship. I discuss this further with Jeff McArthur on Global TV's The Morning Show. Read my advice and watch the video below!

1. Is it a big deal that she slapped his hand away?

It’s only a big deal because they were in public. And it was more of a rebuff than a slap of the hand. Every single one of us has felt this way toward our partner at some point in time, so let’s not single out Melania. I’m married to the nicest, most charming, most loving man I could imagine and I still don’t want to hold his hand at every moment in time. Whether or not you’re a fan of Trump or Melania, you have to admit that we’re often looking for opportunities to criticize their relationship oftentimes because we're insecure about our own.

I should note, however, that the most...

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